The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Is it any wonder you've an ass full of thunder?

15 October 2021

BOTB Diary writes: Feels a bit like a lull at the moment, doesn't it? Games have been coming along the conveyor belt at a fair old whack recently, and one game in two weeks – and an FA Cup qualifier at that – seems like the footballing equivalent of a Relaxing Autumnal Cruise around the Glorious Norwegian Fjords.

Tomorrow we visit Bromsgrove, which has three teams – Bromsgrove Sporting, Bromsgrove Abitniggly and Bromsgrove Cheating Bastards. Luckily we have drawn the first of those fine old institutions, so I'm hoping for a good natured battle in which we score 10.

We won't, of course. I can hardly remember a game in recent history in which we have been such far-and-away favourites, which my pessimistic Grimsby mentality translates into potential disaster, despair and disappointment.

We are on the television, which is exciting, albeit on the BBC red button, whatever that is. I don't own a TV (so middle claarss darling), so I'm not sure how it works. Has the BBC always had a red button for things that are less exciting than its usual output? Do they show the Olympics on the main channel and someone throwing a frisbee to a dog on the red button? The Great British Bake-Thing on the main channel and me making some toast on the red button? Doctor Who on BBC1 and Dr Sharma writing out a prescription on the red button? Only Fools and Horses on - oh, you get the idea. I'll hush up now.

Incidentally, when I was looking at This is Grimsby to check out the latest Mariners gossip, my attention was drawn to the story about Grimsby-born weatherperson Abbie Dewhurst being fed up of comments made about her appearance and her body when she was just trying to do her job. There were two comments on the story, one saying she was well fit and another saying she was a ten-to-two job at best. Cloth-brained men on the internet, eh? And don't get me started on this.

Anyway, let's all get the red button pressed and watch the Mighties march on the road to Wembley. This will hopefully let us forget flatulent nurses and men who miss the point by a mile. And if the match is a disappointment, we can close our eyes and remember that glorious moment last Saturday when we checked out the half time scores and saw Harrogate 5 (five) Scunthorpe 0 (nil). If they put the highlights of that on loop on the red button I'd buy a TV just to watch it.

Our name is on the cup this year. I can sense it. And it all starts tomorrow. C'mon the Mighties, dispel my Grimsby pessimism and make history! Of a sort.