Cod Almighty | Article
by Mark Dillerstone
24 May 2022
Mark Dillerstone was born in Australia of Grimbarian parents and lived there until he was two. His parents brought him back to Grimsby and he now lives in Mablegrad and works as a Technical Analyst somewhere close to Boston. He was a prolific Message Board Nesbit until Fenty decided to vet posters. He's returned since but discovered why everybody at Cod Almighty didn't bother. He's mellowed as he's got older, although is still prone to the odd ill-thought-out rant.
Why are you a Town fan?
I was brought up in Grimsby, family from Grimsby. Growing up I loved Grimsby. Why support a team from somewhere I didn't know and couldn't get to on my bike on a Saturday.
What "should" be your team if you followed the family tree?
Grimsby Town, unless you're going back to about 1880 then it would be Colchester United.
Where was your first seat/standing position and where do you sit now?
I started standing at the back of the Pontoon just to the left of the goal as you look toward the pitch. Nowadays I like to sit at the back of the Pontoon, just to the left of the goal as you look toward the pitch. I'm a creature of habit.
When did you first write anything about Town?
I think I wrote a very poor article for SWWF, then it was the Electronic Fishcake. I did froth a bit.
How did you get involved with CA?
Verbal jousting on an unnamed message board followed by the odd letter and a couple of diaries. Next week I'm actually going to read it.
Which player do you love and why?
Do or did? There were so many. Waters, Drinkell, Whymark, Mendonca, Groves but then came Ivano. It wasn't just that he was a great player but the way the whole club changed, we believed we could achieve things we'd never dreamt of, then Laws went and buggered it all up.
Which former player do you loathe and why?
So many players, so little space, but special mention to Mick Halsall because he was Mick Halsall.
What or who did you get wrong?
I thought Phil Bonnyman, or Bill Funnyman as I liked to call him, was ace. It seems that other town fans didn't like him until he knocked that free kick to Wilko at Everton.
Are you a forgiving soul? What is the longest Town-related grudge you hold.
Probably Dave Challinor and I wasn't even at that game.
What's your favourite Town kit?
That one with black and white stripes, regular stripes not them stupid pin stripes, and writing on the front that probably said Food Town, probably.
Have you ever played other sports/games with or against Town players?
Yeah I played cribbage with Malcolm Partridge and Mike Czuczman in the Imp in 1977. Actually this is a lie, I don't know how to play cribbage.
Which Town player/manager have you found yourself near and where?
I once sat in a waiting room in a hospital that Alan Buckley and the boys had visited for a chat on hospital radio three years before. OK I haven't, right. I don't believe in all this stalking shit. I admire my heroes from afar or the back of the Pontoon, whichever is nearer. Oh, I had a nice chat with Shaun Pearson in the checkout queue in Tesco but that's different, it's not like I followed him. Well obviously I followed him into the queue but there was only one check out open, it was late.
Have you ever exchanged words with Alan Buckley?
No, I told you, no stalking.
Where's the wettest you've been watching a Town game?
Oakwell Barnsley on a Boxing Day. It was cold, wet and we got hammered. Fortunately, we were at my brother-in-law's for Boxing Day and he lived in Barnsley, so I didn't have to sit on a sponge all the way back home.
Have you ever watched Town from the wrong end? How did you survive?
Yes. Aston Villa cup game, free tickets. Fortunately it was 0-0. Town nearly scored, I rose from my seat, when everyone looked at me I said in the best Brummie accent ever "Ay we were lucky there lads". I think they knew I was a Town fan and just pitied me, the bastards.
Six degrees of separation
My mum's mate used to be Bob Mitchell's landlady.
Who ate all the pies?
You've seen me; for those who haven't, I'm rotund. So I guess I probably did.
Have you infected anyone with the Town? How are they today?
Both daughters, one of them made almost a full recovery but the other one is addicted and we are now both trying to make my granddaughter believe.
Where have you been the most miserable when following Town?
TRANMERE. That's all I'm prepared to say.
And what's the high point?
I think watching Grovesey lift the AutoWindscreen Shield at Wembley in 1998. I cried.
Are you bothered which division Town are in?
Not any more, but I would prefer it if we were in the football league.