Cod Almighty | Article

by Tony Butcher

22 December 2003

Who is he? What is he? Neither fish nor fowl - well maybe foul given his disciplinary record - this man can run, but can he hide? A right-back, a midfielder, a central midfielder, a centre-back, a left-back. Here, there and everywhere but nowhere baby, that's where he's at.

Confused? He is, we are, conjugate the verb to Crowe. He seems to be under the impression that he should be the first-choice right-back, so one has to admire his self-belief, if not self-awareness. Then again, he's played for Arsenal you know. Not very often, but they did pay him several of yer English pounds per week, and even got a hefty fee when they offloaded him to the pre-Redknappian Pompey. Ah, a career floating gently downstream, from spring to autumn without summer in between.

So Town could be his last shot at the big time! And what about his last shot, dragged wide with the goal gaping and the goalkeeper yawning. Just how did he miss at Rushden? He can be frighteningly quick, but that means he gets to kick the ball out of play quicker than your average bear.

Is this man Polyfilla? Don't get him wet and remember to clean the surface before applying.