Cod Almighty | Article

by Andrew Lumbard

6 July 2010

Well, hello there, Kettering Town. Let's talk about you.
Kettering Town have always seemed to be one of the better known non-League sides. Their name has been mentioned in the first round of the FA Cup no fewer than 41 times, where, in the last two seasons, they've forced a replay with Leeds and lost valiantly to Fulham. Thrice the winners of the Southern League and twice the winners of the Midland League, they have also been FA Trophy runners-up in 1979 and 2000.

Since their formation in 1892 as plain old Kettering, a number of famous names such as Tommy Lawton, Ron Atkinson and Paul Gascoigne have sat in the pine-panelled manager's office. But none have managed to bridge that final hurdle to achieve full membership of the Football League. Over the past number of years good starts have always ended with mid-table mediocrity. Derek Dougan, the great Northern Ireland forward, brought a period of notoriety for the club as manager 1976, when they became the first British club to play with a sponsor's name printed on their shirts. At the time this was totally against the FA rules. So the 'yres' was removed, and Kettering Town played with 'Kettering T' on their chests! The 'Town' was also added to the club name in 1924.

Enigmatic former chairman but now just owner Imran Ladaak has made his fortune from medical recruitment, and has suffered the praise and abuse which goes with the chairmanship of any football club. Pumping money in, and sacking manager John Deehan, after a 5-1 loss to Leeds, he alsoantagonised Lincoln fans in 2008 with alleged racist comments and a subsequent apology. His interest in the club seems to be dwindling with the failure to secure the development of a new ground to coincide with the lease expiring at Rocky Road, and the club continues with its board of volunteer directors and a supporters' trust. Ladaak has also courted controversy, and elevated his public profile, with shirt sponsorship from Interpal, a Palestinian aid distribution charity.

It's almost like being there: a televised Lee Harper saves well as Leeds bombard the Poppies' goal in last season's FA Cup. Photo: Claire Britchford (cc by-nc-sa 2.0)

Local rivalries run high in the rural hinterlands of Northamptonshire. There is always a spicy affair with Corby Town, when the good people of Corby show allegiance to the town of their birth and temporarily forget that they are not watching Rangers or Celtic. Although this rivalry stems more from the Saturday night meatheads than football, the local constabulary will be fully deployed for this year's pre-season game. Also, arrests ensued, and the police helicopter was launched in the more recent, and more frequently occurring, football rivalry with Rushden & Diamonds.

Do you come here often?
Would that be the Elgoods Brewery Arena or Rockingham Road? Whatever...

Although in 1979 Kettering Town were founder members of the Alliance Premier, which later became the Conference Premier, their course before and after was a meandering one. Twelve different leagues were travelled through before 1979. These included the Southern League in all its guises, midlands leagues, and the Birmingham & District.

After 1979 they held their place for 22 subsequent seasons, only to yo-yo in and out between firstly the Southern League and then the Isthmian. From ninth place in the latter they won promotion to the newly formed Conference North. Having turned professional, and bringing in manager Mark Cooper from Tamworth, Kettering then returned to the Premier for the start of the 2008 season. Following the departure of Cooper as Darren Ferguson's replacement at Peterborough, goalkeeper Lee Harper took and maintains management duties at Rockingham Road.

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Darren Wrack, well, we know him! Born in Cleethorpes, but made only 13 appearances for Grimsby before ending up at Walsall for an eternity.

When known simply as Kettering, they met the Mariners in qualifying rounds of the FA Cup, managing a draw and two losses. Then in the 1925-26 season there was a second-round meeting which Grimsby won 3-1 in a replay... and that is it!

Local celebrity and Britain's Got Talent nearly-winner Faryl Smith provided Kettering's most recent appearance at Wembley in 2009, when she become the youngest singer to sing the national anthem at the cup final.

What can we do when the sun goes down?
Despite being en route for every day of my day job, I have spent little time in Kettering, which fully supports the animosity between south and east Northants. I can tell you that you can get a cracking carvery at the Trading Post, although it is on the other side of town to the ground.

Being of sound Grimsby stock it may be somewhat discerning of me to comment that with the wind in the wrong direction there is the unusual aroma of wet Weetabix wafting from their Burton Latimer factory.

For those traditional male supporters who take the wife and kids away and leave them shopping while they go to the match, there is a rather quaint alternative provided by, debatably, Britain's oldest amusement park –Wicksteed Park. It was created in 1913 as an open space for the workers and families of the boot and shoe industry, and boasts the oldest log flume in the world.

And if you are very lucky, and in the canyons of your mind you can still hear Gloria Jones singing 'Tainted Love', you may see the ghosts of the Northern Soul all-nighters at one of the movement's better known venues, the Central Hall.

Paul Gascoigne gives Sky News his side of the story, having just been sacked as Kettering manager in December 2005. (This is part one;here's part two.)

Vital statistics
Last season
Kettering didn't exactly 'narrowly miss the play-offs' by finishing in sixth place: they were 12 points behind York City in fifth. Their home form clearly let them down when you compare home wins (six) against away wins (11). This form kept them in the top five for over half of the season, however, with an eight-week stretch in second place. Their average attendance of 1387 was down 12 per cent on the previous season.

League placing: 6th, Conference Premier, P44 W18 D12 L14 F51 A41 Pts66
Home and away rankings: 21st and 3rd in the division
Average attendance: 1387 (rank: 11th in the division, 107th in England)
Mileage travelled: 2,442

This season
Squad size: 13 (as at 5 July)
Odds on winning the league: 40/1 (Blue Square)

Do say (wistfully, and with a well chosen audience)
"Do you remember the all-nighters at the Pier and the Winter Gardens?"

Don't say
"I'm stopping at my cousin's in Corby for a full fish supper on the way home. Could you show me the quickest way?"

Do you know Kettering or the surrounding area? We want your recommendations for local pubs, cafés or B&Bs, to feature in our pre-match factfiles during next season. Use the Cod Almighty feedback form to send them in – or to share any other thoughts you might have about our Rough Guide to the Conference.