Cod Almighty | Article

by Mark Wilson

26 July 2010

You'll recall that in the mists of time Dynamo Kiev had a marvellous striking partnership comprising Andrei Shevchenko and Sergei Rebrov. For a short and glorious period the pair scored goals for fun and propelled Dynamo to a place in European football that was probably beyond their supporters' dreamy hopes (I can't be sure; I don't know any Dynamo supporters!). Then the inevitable happened and the 'big' clubs came calling. Shevchenko moved on to AC Milan and confirmed himself as one of the finest strikers in football. Rebrov went to Tottenham and looked like a shirehorse with the first touch of a handicapped donkey. All of Europe could see where the class had lain in that partnership.

Why am I waffling on about this on Cod Almighty? I'll tell you. When Rob Atkinson joined Town on loan at the end of October 2007 he formed a raw, young partnership with Ryan Bennett and once they'd got used to each other they began to look like a pairing with real potential. Before Atkinson arrived, Bennett often appeared to be struggling to play his own game and make up for the deficiencies of the lumbering fool playing beside him. But Atkinson injected more pace and skill into the middle of defence and allowed Bennett to just play the one position. He looked better as a result, unsurprisingly. Their deficiencies as a pairing were forgivable as they were so young, inexperienced and raw. In many, many games they were the one ray of light on a gloomy afternoon and even though the spectre of defeat rattled the chains of a hammering a few times, the centre-halves escaped too much blame as the rest of the team were so bloody awful.

Then the 'big' clubs came calling. After a false start Bennett left for O'Peterborough and the clutches of lovable cockney 'erbert Barry Fry. At the time of writing Bennett has not become the finest centre-half in Europe.

And Rob Atkinson hasn't become a hybrid equine. He has become frustratingly inconsistent. I searched the internet for solid statistical evidence of this growing inconsistency and stumbled across an excellent website called Cod Almighty, which awarded Rob three 'man of the match' awards in 2007-08 and no 'un-man of the match' awards. In 2009-10 it was two 'mans' and one 'un-man'. There you go: indisputable statistical evidence. Can't argue with that. Readers may also be interested in my statistical analysis of global warming that can be read on the University of East Anglia's website.

As with all inconsistent players, the frustration for the supporters is that they watch the player have a great game (that Barnet game) and then have a stinker (he didn't actually have a stinker at Burton but he was pretty anonymous), but they like players to be either good or shit all the time. If they're good we like them and want them in the team; if they're shit we want the club to sell them to York. You could also allow Rob a bit of slack, as 2009-10 was his difficult third year at Town and he was surrounded by hopeless twats until about March. He is only 22 as well. If centre-halves really reach greatness in their late thirties (Futch was about 38 wasn't he?) then Rob's got loads of time.

His football pedigree is not exactly Kennel Club, as he came through the Barnsley youth system and enjoyed loan spells at Rochdale, Scarborough and Halifax. But it was only at Scarborough that he got anything like a run in the first team. He joined us on loan in October 2007 and played the rest of that season, making 24 league appearances. The following season he was loaned to us again between October and January, making nine appearances, then permanently threw in his lot with us last year, playing 58 times. No goals so far. He's 6'1" and weighs 12.5 stone. The ladies like him – despite the dodgy photo of him that did the rounds earlier this year.

So, let me slip into my Alan Hansen voice and 'analyse' Atkinson's future. I think he'll look very good at Conference level because most Conference strikers are shit and Rob isn't. I think he'll benefit immensely from working under Woods as the whole team will – the extra fitness alone will help him rise above the morass. He'll benefit from not playing in a team constantly trying to cling to the wreckage of the arse end of the league (I hope!) and he'll enjoy winning a few games. He needs to improve his concentration and he needs to talk more to the other defenders around him and get rid of the bloody thing when the defence is under pressure. But overall, I think he'll be alright. He might even enjoy a long career at Town and play in the League again fairly soon (although with my record as Mystic Meg that means he'll be sold next week and never get near the League until he retires and becomes a plumber at 28).

I doubt he's a defensive Sergei Rebrov.