Rough guide to... Bury

Cod Almighty | Article

by Tony Butcher

6 August 2007

A new year, a new beginning for the Cemetery Enders. Renewed and rebranded: we bring you Lindum Nuvos with their new club motto "a novus virga tamen an vetus hat" (a new broom but an old hat).

Yesterday once more
Last season was wonderful for about three weeks, during which time they turfed Sunderland out of the League Cup and stuffed a Grimsby Town unselect XI in the league, when the smallest centre-forward in the world headed two goals from inside the six-yard box. The rest of the time was pure purgatory, for they lost, lost and lost again. The highlight of a depressing winter was Chris Brass's magnificent Ministry of Silly Walks own goal at DarlingtonHere it is. Have you stopped chuckling yet? Here it is again. Fantabulosa, as footballers say in their secret language of the shower. 

They ended up 21st, four points away from Bust'un, with last-day survival, again.

Hello goodbye
The way forward is the way back east, to old Lincoln. Director of football and next new manager Big Keef Alexander, the jolly green giant of our yonder years, has ripped the heart out of the old, gloomy Bury. Gone are the little lads passing footballs and in come his old fire brigade. Of mice and men.

Into the groove: the Fen of Butcher, Mr Ben Futcher (via the A17, A46 and B1108); Paul Morgan, via Lincoln and a course at Manchester University; Jim Provett, a Hartlepool player on 12 September 2003; Steve Haslam (Halifax via Wednesday); Ben Leonard, from a boiling samovar in Sheffield, with no known existence before June 2007; Andrew Mangan, a "lively and bubbly Scouser" © from Accrington; and Jordan Stepien, stepping up from the youth team.

Out (and shaken all about): John Fitzgerald, Tom Kennedy (now a Rochdalecowboy), Tom Youngs, Alan Fettis, Matthew Tipton (who was on loan atMacclesfield anyway, so no-one has noticed him not coming back), and young Damian Quigley have all been axed by Alex while Chris Brass is still rubbing his ego on the sidelines, in limbo between Bury and oblivion.

Infinity and beyond
With Big Keef's trademark three-man defence and thousand bomber air raid tactics, Bury are likely to avoid their usual wobbles and woes. Their squad is packed with adequacy and that is as good as it has got recently. If they're still bumbling Bs come April then it'll be down to rank misfortune and injuries in the ranks. They won't concede many with that revamped defence, so lower mid-table comfort looks challenging but achievable. Who says 14th is beyond them? Not me.