Cod Almighty | Article

by Alistair Wilkinson

30 July 2006

"I can assure the Barnsley fans that I am now 100 per cent committed to Barnsley Football Club and am eagerly awaiting my debut." – Isaiah Rankin, 19 January 2001

"I thought he showed an attitude that for me as his manager is not acceptable and I'll deal with that when his loan spell is up at Grimsby. For my point of view it showed and tells you more about his attitude than anything else." – Gudjon Thordarson, Barnsley manager, 29 February 2004

That was unfair of me. The two quotes are years apart, and Rankin did sign for Nigel Spackman, not Thordarson – but it does show that we have perhaps signed a personality as well as a footballer: something we've (or at least I've) missed for quite a while now.

The abiding memory of Rankin's first stay with the Mariners is the game against Thordarson's Barnsley. What a great day. Rodger had rekindled the passion in the players; he'd found his 'yard dog', cast a spell on Jevvo, soothed the ego of Lee Thorpe and found a more than adequate replacement for Michael Boulding. As we sailed to that 6-1 victory (did Law really mess it up? Was it a dream?) Rankin danced, jeered, gesticulated and generally taunted the Tykes' fans. By half time we knew he was never going back to Oakwell; you can stay here then, Isaiah, we'll make up the spare bed.

He was ace wasn't he? That bridge-burning, Boulding-bettering mad fool of a man. He was ace. But is he still?

Our mad summer romance burned quickly and brightly and was over all too soon. Isaiah swaggered off like a Spanish waiter to Brentford to charm a new set of holidaymakers, but they were together for more than two weeks. He made a great fling but what was he like when it came to commitment? The Brentford fans are happy with their divorce after two years of marriage: it turns out that this great fling doesn't cut his toenails and he dribbles all over the toilet floor.

I asked members of the forum at the Griffin Park Grapevine website for their opinions on Rankin's time at the club; they weren't very kind to him. The theme was cake, lots and lots of cake. The supporters of Brentford feel that he was never slim enough, fit enough, good enough; he flattered to deceive. The most positive comment posted was: "He wasn't the worst player we've had for the past two seasons by a long way." Oh...

Rankin's record appears to back up the Bees' cake-calling. In 251 professional games he has drifted, playing for eight clubs and netting just 50 times. The icing on Rankin's cake would seem to be just that. But I don't want to sound doom and gloom about the man because I am looking forward to his return, so let's find some positives.

• He scored Bradford's first ever goal in European football in the 3-1 win over FK Atlantas. He's a hero!
• He's ace!
• He scored against Charlton in Brentford's 3-1 FA Cup defeat last season, so he's better than Ashley Sestanovich!
• Reddy and Rankin? Sounds like football to me. Come on!
• He wasn't the worst player at Brentford!
• He was great with Lee Thorpe; imagine him with the Lump. We've got options up front!

That's enough. I don't need any more, roll on the season, roll on Rankin and get Reddy for some dancin'.