Cod Almighty | Match Report
by Andrew Lumbard
1 October 2005
Shrewsbury Town 0 Grimsby Town 0
The news hit as soon as I stepped out of the car. Russell Slade had not travelled, struck down by a mystery virus. Sort it Mrs Slade! Night Nurse, Day Nurse, paracetamol, and a packet of cherry menthol Soothers had been despatched to the Slade household. Meanwhile the virus is attacking the Slade address book, issuing enquiries for loan players and thanking everyone for his nomination as manager of the month. Russ has contacted John Fenty and enquired about the purchase of Norton and MacAfee from the PC World XI, and whether there was any more orange juice - it's full of vitamin C.
A beautiful sunshiny day welcomed the faithful to the Meadow that is Gay. With wives despatched to the architectural and historical splendour of Shrewsbury town - no, really - around 305 Grimsby fans installed themselves in the pre-Taylor report terraced end with its crowd control caged fencing, while another 50 went through the wrong turnstile and found themselves in the seats.
So what awaits the 4First league meeting of these two clubs? Plenty of goals? There's only ever been one scoreless draw, and let us not have a repeat of the saved penalty incident from last year.
In their warm-up Town seemed to have lost all discipline with the absence of Slade, tapping the ball to each other in a big circle. Shrewsbury did some industrious sprints in front of the Wakeman School. Yes, they were No Disgrace and didn't look Fragile in the least. Contrary to recent observations, only three officials warmed up.
The Town players returned to the dressing rooms early to have their temperatures taken and be administered with a spoonful of Benilyn.
Pre-match toilet talk
"Kalala, Croft, Parky and Slade struck down by virus." Strange, could've sworn Croft was warming up with the subs, but the programme editor knew better - "19 Gary Jones, 21 Alan Lamb" - so no number 20.
First half
The starting XI for Town was Mildenhall, Sir John, Whittle, Jones the Stick, Newey, Simon Francis, Toner, Bolland, Cohen, Reddy, Gritton. So 4-4-2 with Cohen in front of Newey, which was not obvious as the match progressed. The subs were Jones the Lump, Barwick, Ramsden, Crane and Gary Croft, so ner-ner-ner, Mr Programme Editor.
Town kicked off towards the Wakeman end. Tap, back pass, boot upfield. You know the drill by now. Oh hang on - handball. Town free kick, that's not in the script. Newey steps up to take it, the ball is drifted in and taken comfortably by the Shrews' keeper, Joe Hart. Shrewsbury attacked down the left, with McMenamin fouled by Newey and a free-kick given. The ball was drifted over and taken comfortably by Mildenhall. Tit-for-tat: a pattern that was to be followed for the majority of the game, especially the aforementioned "taken comfortably by the keeper".
The first throw-in came Town's way fully five minutes into the game, but Shrewsbury continued to push everything down the left, their right, probably aware of the aura of legendary status awaiting them on the other flank. Also probably aware of the absence of Croft and Newey's penchant for collecting cards. McMenamin was a constant pest looking to cross or feed in to Duane Darby and Langmead, both of whom appear to be enjoying the culinary delights of Shropshire.
More free kicks were awarded to both sides by the happy whistleblower, the first quarter of the game being constantly stop-start. It's a man's game; let them get on with it. Shrewsbury down the left again, Cohen upends McMenamin. Mildenhall gathers the free kick with unassumed confidence.
Shrewsbury down the left again, Cohen upends McMenamin, free kick over hit and out for a goal kick. Can you see a pattern here?
Toner loses possession in midfield. Shrewsbury can't keep possession. A Grimsby long ball to Gritton on the left, a pass to Reddy running the diagonal, his cross blocked and Grimsby get a corner. Newey, who is corner monitor today, finds Jones on the back post. His header is blocked but bobbles out to Cohen, who fires in a shot which is deflected for another corner on the opposite side. Shrewsbury clear it away, easily.
Darby turns Jones, and finds space for Langmead on the edge of the area, but the Grimsby defence snuff out any danger. Another Grimsby corner resulting in another fussy free kick given away.
Shrewsbury build patiently across the back and the ball eventually sails loopily into the Grimsby area. Jones, Newey, Cohen and two Shrews seem to be under it. Langmead falls to the floor and rubs the back of his head. Showing that he isn't going to be influenced by the players or the crowd, as no-one says anything, Mr Melin points to the spot for a penalty. The Grimsby players congratulate the referee on the precision of his eyesight, and McMenamin checks that it really is a penalty before placing it on the spot. A disgruntled Shrewsbury manager was later heard to comment on his disappointment with the penalty taker, as he put it in the exact same spot as his last penalty. The Big M, having stayed up late to finish his homework and hand it in the following morning, dives to his right and meets the ball with an M-sized mitt, nine inches from the foot of the post.
The game continued in its own scrappy imprecise way. Neither side gaining command or holding position. Poor control, passes falling short, Top of the league? We agree - it is a laugh. A Grimsby free kick, ending with a Toner shot being deflected for another wasted corner. A Gritton long-range effort, five yards over. Shrewsbury attack and get the better of Sir John. [Can anyone corroborate this? - incredulous Ed.] Francis steps in and trips over; the Shrew attacker falls over Francis and the danger is over. Long shot from Francis - high and wide.
Macca is undone by a neat backheel [Seriously... are you sure it was Macca? - Ed.], and the resulting cross drops between the Big M, the Stick and the Card Collector at the near post. Newey hooks the ball out for a non-threatening corner as Langmead hovers behind him. Jones and Darby tangle for a high bouncing ball. The Jones leg is high and swings into contact with the not too inconsiderable chest of Darby. Jones needs attention, and a collective of intake of breath is taken at the Grimsby end as Tony Crane warms up.
The Town defence allow a Shrewsbury long throw to bounce in the area before Big M gathers and releases Newey for a sprint down the left, the eventual cross flying behind the goal.
Five minutes before half time Shrewsbury continue to tease down their right. Gritton is back to half clear a corner with the ball coming back to Darby, who effects a complete air shot.
Shrewsbury's penultimate effort saw Macca undone again by a cut inside by McMenamin, who had changed flanks. His through ball found Langmead free enough to waste what could be termed a 'glorious chance' by thumping the ball well wide of the target. Their final effort was another shot sliced wide. Town's last of the half attack saw Gritton sprinting with the ball from halfway to feed Reddy, whose deflected shot was saved. The half-time whistle blew as Newey was in the middle of his run-up to take yet another free kick.
Eleven and a half games gone - exactly one quarter of the way through the season - and Grimsby are top of the league.
Half-time toilet talk
"They just seem to be playing a similar game to each other, and cancelling each other out."
"Yes, just like Chelsea and Liverpool."
Second half
No subs, and Shrewsbury kick off: 1.7 seconds later they have a throw-in and sanity is restored.
Grimsby attack down the left, and a nicely flighted cross to the penalty area D is headed down by Francis into the path of Gritton. The ball is also met by the Shrewsbury defender Neil Ashton with an excellent tackle to repel the danger. Ashton had an outstanding game and would be my Shrews man of the match.
The game and threats continued in much the same vein as the first half. A wide long-range shot from Langmead; free kicks and corners safely gathered by Mildenhall. But let us not forget the Grimsby chance. At around the 48th minute Reddy picked the ball up on the halfway line and left three defenders in his wake. The ball continued in a forward direction at his feet after the final tackle, and left him with only the keeper (who was being watched by Tim Flowers, now the Manchester City goalkeeping coach) to beat. Reddy poked a sharp right-footed shot to Hart's left. To the joy of the Shrewsbury fans Hart pulled off the save, but unbeknown to them, and only visible to us Town fans, the ball had slipped under his body and was free. Now, if only Reddy hadn't run three yards past and thrown his head back and looked skywards. Sort it Rodger!
Grimsby continued to look lively for the third quarter of the game, but were unable to create any clear-cut chances. Macca ran the overlap to release Reddy, setting up Gritton, who lost possession. Gritton and Reddy exchanged hospital passes down the Town left. Bolland burst through with a theatrical dive for a penalty. An ambitious long-range effort from Gritton. A free kick for foot up on Cohen; Jones' header wide of the left post. Toner and Reddy link up on the left, wasted. Bolland through the centre to Reddy, well defended. Macca on the overlap again, oops, ball in the back of the stand.
No, it wasn't all Grimsby. Shrewsbury attacks were also being thwarted with offside decisions, poor finishing, strong defending and confident cross-gathering from the Big M. A quick short free kick on the edge of Grimsby's area was completely wasted as the receiver was quickly blocked by the alert defence. Another free kick to Grimsby on the left is swung over and Jones was unable to achieve any force or direction.
A poor clearance from the Grimsby defence, and another shot from Shrewsbury safely gathered by Mildenhall. The pattern remained constant. Attack, lose possession, attack, lose possession, neither keeper troubled for the last quarter of the game. Deep crosses from Shrewsbury to no-one. Francis attempted to put the ball in the area, but over-clubbed with a seven iron when it should have been a wedge.
The substitutions began in the 67th minute with Jones the Lump on for Gritton. The game meandered on. Darby was replaced after about 75 and Langmead went off about five minutes later. Shrewsbury wasted another attack with a showboating flick to unoccupied space in the Grimsby penalty area. Barwick comes on for Cohen. Francis manages to find Reddy with a forward punt, only for the ref to intervene with a handball or offside decision. Toner goes for a final run, before eventually losing possession.
A Reddy break in the 90th minute is stopped by a Sorvel tackle, which is deemed bad enough for the first yellow card of the game. The cross from the free kick is met by Whittle, who glances wide.
The three minutes of added time saw two Grimsby attacks stopped by cynical fouls, and a Shrewsbury attack stopped by a tackle from behind by Francis, for which he received the game's second yellow card.
So that was it. Still undefeated away, no goal conceded today, no injuries, still top. Probably mission accomplished. On reflection we probably came for the point, and were happy with it.
Nicko's man of the match
A fairly accomplished display from Grimsby today, with the defence coping with all that Shrewsbury attacked with. A complete team performance, and strong workrate from all. One man kept us in the game with the penalty save and his dominance of all crosses: step forward Steve Mildenhall.
Official warning
Mr Melin was just a fussy bugger in the first half. He was severely criticised by the texters to Radio Shropshire afterwards, but I didn't hear the howls of derision from the attendant fans during the game. 4.87.