Cod Almighty | Article
by Theme team editor
16 December 2014
We asked you to come up with players suggested by Christmas and the new year holiday. This is what you came up with.
The greatest stories ever told
Two Christmas-time miracles to start.
David 'Digger' Soames (nominated by Adam Deller and Too Good to Go Down) never started a first team game but he did score the winner at Derby on Boxing Day 2002. As Adam says, "If I was him, I'd be telling my kids and grandkids about it every Christmas until I died."
Dan Humphrey reminds us that Russell Slade's mysterious squad member, Glen Downey, claimed his moment in the spotlight on New Year's Eve 2005 with a winning goal at Wrexham.
Merry Christmas Day
They probably weren't huge shocks at the time, but ...
On their way to the second division title in 1933, Donk Dawson notes that the Mariners beat Manchester United, down at the wrong end of the table, 3-1 on Christmas Day, 7-3 on Boxing Day. ("Rubbish", they shouted from the Barrett Stand, "you should be putting ten past these".) Pat Glover got all three at Old Trafford and another two the next day.
Neville Butt formed a brains trust with his brother Patrick and Mike Potts to bring us the highlights of our 1957 win over Liverpool. Johnny Scott opened the scoring with a magnificent volley from a hard-hit low cross by Gerry Priestley. Scott took the shot on the turn at knee height. Mike's man of the match was Jeff Whitefoot, a cultured left-half who joined us from Man United and won an FA Cup winners medal at Nottingham Forest. Whitefoot scored scored the second goal and Jimmy Fell the third in a 3-1 win.
What's in a name
We invited puns and seasonal names. We got them, mainly from Chris Parrott: Andy Love, Richard Hope, Ian 'silent' Knight, Georges Santos (no, me neither - Ed) and Ian Straw make up the numbers. More promising is Ross 'hose' Hannah, especially if you say his name after a couple of drinks to get the Jewish New Year. Adam Deller joined in with 'three' Kingsley Black and Lenell John-Lewis ("Because somehow, John-Lewis has managed to wedge itself a place in modern Christmas, seemingly out of nowhere."). 'Ding-dong merrily on high' carolled Rob McIlveen, before giving us Alex Bell, Jack Bell, Jock Bell, John Bell and Tom Bell.
Christmas presents
By the time you got to players who joined the Mariners around Christmas time (extended to "some time in January" when the going got really tough) we knew you were in trouble. Ian Miller, signed on New Year's Eve we'll consider as he was nominated by both Adam Deller and Dan Humphrey, but we really need a bit more than that, so there's no room for Martin Gritton (suggested by Dan Humphrey) or Peter Till (Adam Deller). Tony Crane's claim is given weight ('ho ho') by Adam Deller pointing out he was clearly a man who enjoyed his Christmas dinner. Finally, just as managers like to say getting a long-term crock back on his feet is like a new signing, getting rid of Ronnie Bull (another Adam Deller nomination) in January 2005 was like a late Christmas present.
Blinders and blunders
A step down from the miracles of Soames and Downey are these tales of good (or good-ish) players shining just when the nights are longest. Most of these are suggested by Adam Deller or Dan Humphrey but Too Good to Go Down says that Joe Colbeck's goal straight from a corner at Sincil Bank two years ago will live in his memory for a long, long time.
Dan Humphrey's first suggestion is Dave Gilbert who scored twice in a 4-2 win over Barnsley on Boxing Day 1992. He adds our 3-0 win over Lincoln at a snowy Blundell Park in 2005-06. The win took us top of the fourth division. Michael Reddy, Andy Parkinson and Ciaran Toner were the scorers.
Adam Deller starts with Aidan Davison's seven clean sheets in eight matches around the turn of the 1997-98 season. He adds his favourite Christmas game, from 29 December 2001, when the Mariners entertained and beat (helped by a slip from the Pompey goalkeeper) a Portsmouth side featuring Robert Prosinecki. He goes on with Peter Bore's hat-trick, the centre-piece of a 7-2 win over Mansfield on the first day of 2011 and finishes with Liam Hearn's contribution to our strong form after a slow start the following season
From the sublime to the ridiculous. Over Christmas in 1999-2000, Town took just one point from four games, Adam Buckley playing in all three defeats. For some reason Adam Deller also links the memory with a childhood fear of presents being nicked, but let's not go there. On New Year's Day 1988, Martin Robinson remembers, "Terry Curran went on a mazy run, did the hard bit, went past the keeper, and then blazed it over an open goal, the muppet". We drew 0-0.
The Cod Almighty Christmas XI
This side would struggle to play in a 4-4-2, but to get our best players (and Tony Crane) on the pitch...
1. Alex Bell (Rob McIlveen)
2. Peter Bore (Adam Deller)
3. Ian Miller (Adam Deller, Dan Humphrey)
4. Tony Crane (Adam Deller)
5. Glen Downey (Dan Humphrey)
6. Jeff Whitefoot (Neville Butt)
7. Ciaran Toner (Dan Humphrey)
8. Terry Curran (Martin Robinson)
9. David Soames (Adam Deller, Too Good to Go Down)
10. Pat Glover (Donk Dawson)
11. Ross Hannah (Chris Parrott)
Leaderboard
The most successful nominator of this team is Adam Deller, with four successes to Dan Humphrey's three.
| Successful nominations | Nominators |
| Nine | Adam Deller |
| Eight | Dan Humphrey |
| Seven | Neville Butt |
| Three | Tony Butcher |
| Two | Adam Howard, Donk Dawson |
| One | Adam Burns, Ashley Smith, Charles Lumley, Chris Parrott, Jack Connor, Jem Halfpenny, Martin Robinson, Pete Hirst, Richard Bedwell, Richard Whitehouse, Rob McIlveen, Too Good to Go Down. |
New theme: an erratic XI
We're going to go for another quick turn-around on this one as its bad luck to have a Christmas theme hanging around after Twelfth Night, especially if its wearing a green jumper. Please get your nominations in by 4 January 2015, for our erratic XI.
This theme almost speaks for itself. We want those players who can go from great to gruesome from one match to another, or indeed from one minute to the next. There are rich pickings here, so vote early and vote often. We look forward to hearing from you.
Happy holidays.
To nominate players for our erratic XI, use our feedback form