Cod Almighty | Match Report

by Mike Worden

28 February 2009

Rochdale 2 Grimsby Town 0

With no need to check for change from a £20 note handed over to the gateman, fans arriving at Spotland would have first noticed the sprinklers on the pitch. This is Rochdale, a club with a rich history of postponements and abandonments due to waterlogged pitches, and the club are watering the pitch in February. Bizarre.

The Rochdale kit of choice this season is Inter Milan, changing from their Grimsby Town kit of the last campaign. Still the odd replica shirt from last season visible in the home crowd caused some comment from visitors about how Town fans were everywhere in the ground reminding me of the time I once took a mate, who only previously attended home games, to Notts County and he looked up from the top of the stand when we walked in and said: "This is fantastic - there are thousands of Town fans here."

In front of me sat the book lady who has been witnessed at a few away games. She never looks up nor looks worried. Bliss.

Town were all in red, lining up with debutant Henderson in goal stepping in to cover for Phil Barnes' convenient bout of tonsillitis. At the back were Clarke, Newey, Atkinson, Bennett, with Heggggarty, Sinclair, Kalala, Jarman in midfield and Forbes, Proudlock up front. Notable faces in the Inter Milan strip were Ciaran Toner, Simon Ramsden and Lee Thorpe.

First half
Soon after kick off, Bennett was fouled and Henderson took the free kick to an ovation from the Town fans. Moments later Mr Kettle waved away Rochdale penalty appeals when Jarman tripped Thorpe in the box. At the other end a good ball from Kalala found Proudlock whose shot was saved and Town were given a corner.

On five minutes the home side took the lead when the tricky left-sided player Rundle ran across the box with the Town players allowing him to. A little jink and Rundle made enough space for a shot which was deflected in, past Henderson's reach. This was woeful defending from Town with Clarke in particular guilty of not making the tackle when it was needed.

Five minutes after the goal, Town had a chance to get level. Kalala was held, Newey floated in the free kick and, while Atkinson met it, he wasn't able to get the power into it and it was saved.

Soon after the Atkinson effort, Rochdale won possession in their left-back position and played a good ball through the centre for Le Fondre to run on to. He looked so offside that the Town fans didn't doubt that the linesman would raise his flag, but it stayed down and the striker ran through and beat Henderson with the Town defence chasing yards behind him. An argument broke out behind me about whether Le Fondre was in his own half, an argument which threatened to boil over and somebody shouted: "Bring back Buckley," which promptly ended the 'offside or not' debate.

On 18 minutes Town won a free kick on the left but, despite taking a long time to set it up, Sinclair's despatch was poor. At the other end Bennett did well to head away a Rochdale attack and a little later Henderson screwed up, kicking away a back-pass with the ball looping up in the air and going for a corner.

Jarman showed good skill getting into the box and doing a neat turn which confused the defenders but unusually not himself. His cross was cleared for a corner which was headed away easily by the defence. Town were starting to cause some concern for the home side although it wasn't that threatening. Hegggarty was tripped for which Stanton was booked. Clarke took the kick and his shot only narrowly went the wrong side of the top corner. A little later Clarke did well to cut back from the bye-line to Forbes, whose shot crashed into the bar following a deflection. Kalala ran forward down the centre but he took too long choosing his opportunity to shoot and he was dispossessed.

Town finished the half reasonably strongly but weren't threatening enough in the challenges, typified by the final action of the half which saw Clarke put a good cross in but which was not attacked by any Town players and collected easily by the Rochdale keeper.

Second half
FIFA must have tried the 20-minute half time experiment at Spotland as it was a long time before the teams emerged. Newell and Keith Hill had had a 'discussion' in the tunnel about the second goal and both were asked to sit the second half out in the stands by Mr Kettle.

Boshell replaced the injured Sinclair in midfield. Clarke talked himself into the ref's notebook soon after the kick off. Rochdale had a good chance to go three up following a short corner but Henderson pushed the resulting shot over the bar and then launched into a verbal attack on the defence.

Town were applying some pressure in this period but were not clinical enough. Hegggarty wasted a chance on a break, Proudlock miskicked a shot, Newey got forward but couldn't get a shot in and a Kalala shot was saved.

Akpa Akpro replaced Proudlock on the hour and immediately made an impact with a header from a Newey kick. The Frenchman's every touch of the ball was cheered by the Town fans. In a chase with Hegggarty, Rochdale's Adams lost his boot. Hegggarty kicked it back to him, no doubt because his bandaged arm prevented him from picking it up. Adams spent about five minutes trying to tie his laces in front of the Town fans and then was substituted to the sound of laughter from 200 Grimbarians.

Forbes challenged for a ball just in front of the Town fans and then fell over the pile of pitch covers into the crowd. Cue more laughter from the fishy folk. Oh we may be the worst team in the Football League, but we have a laugh don't we?

Elliott replaced Newey and went into midfield with Hegggarty dropping back to left-back. Town were still searching for the goal which might get them back into the game. Jarman just failed to connect from an Elliott free kick and Bennett headed wide from a Boshell corner. The game started to peter out with Rochdale realising that the game was won. There is nothing more to say. The Town fans sang "We're going to Forest Green".

Boshell and Henderson were booked for a foul and dissent respectively right near to the end. Mr Kettle blew his whistle to end the pain. Akpa Akpro and Stanton squared up to each other with the Frenchman looking very close to hitting him before being pulled away. The cause of the argument wasn't obvious but maybe the Rochdaler made a hair-related comment. Où avez-vous trouvé que les cheveux?

The couple of hundred Town fans walked out despondently into the Lancashire evening while the from the loudspeaker came the sounds of 'Move on Up'. Hush now child and don't you cry, more like.