From on high

Cod Almighty | Article

by Tony Barker

12 December 2016

In an open letter to Grimsby Town's major shareholder, Tony fears a new ground could make the occasional off-day by the team feel even worse

Dear John,

Speaking to a friend at a recent Blundell Park game, we got on to the new stadium debate. (Yes, I know – that old chestnut!) Our conclusion was that we would miss our beloved Upper Findus/Stones/John Smith's stand like crazy because it's amazing what can catch your eye from up there if Town are having a bad day.

You know...

"Which one is Haile Sands Fort and which is Bull Fort?"

"I wonder if that snibby has a good catch?"

"Is that train on time? And why are those bloody kids lobbing stones at it?"

"I wonder how much it costs for the DFDS ferry crossing to Zeebrugge? I must do it one day. I always say that I'm going to do it."

"Is that a second pie that geezer's having? It bloody is, you know!"

"I hope that dog walker knows the tide times 'cos when it turns… Why does it always come in at Humberston and Grimsby first?"

"It's a bit dark over Hull."

"I wonder how the lads are on Spurn – have they had any shouts?"

"I hope that I don't see a lone seagull today."

"Oh sugar, if I don't go down soon the queue will be massive and I'll wet meself."

"Why don't they just join the trust, then they are straight in for their half-time pint!"

Of course, if the footie is good, then most of this goes sailing by, which is what we are there for anyway. But, getting to the crux of this piece: please Mr Fenty, if we do get a move, can we have one of the new stands on stilts and facing the sea so that all of the above can still be available if needed on those, er, rare off-days?

Just saying, like.


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