Cod Almighty | Diary

Why leave for home when, at Blundell Park, I'm already there

20 January 2017

Retro Diary writes: We seem to have come a long way since the choreographed seat flipping last week after Exeter's third goal. Last Saturday, the very cold day undoubtedly contributed to the synchrony of the charge for the exit at the very moment it became apparent the afternoon was going to be fruitless. Still, the subject of leaving early continues to cause recriminations and challenges to folks' loyalty - good old snobbery even.

Let me state straight away that I have once, and only once, left a match before the end. That was at Hillsborough in that FA Cup third round match we lost 7-1. Town took 8,000 fans to that game, and the atmosphere in the Leppings Lane End was electric – at least until the goals started going in. When the seventh hit the back of the net towards the end, the bloke who’d given me a lift stormed out, and if I hadn't followed him I'd have been hitch-hiking back to Grimsby. So that was the reason. It still felt wrong, but I was relatively certain, despite my youthful optimism, the game was lost by then.

There are always a few fans with good reasons for leaving early. Perhaps they only had until the 70th minute anyway because they had family commitments or were starting a shift and they were already in trouble for going to the match at all. Perhaps some were neutrals, or not regular attenders who didn't care all that much – at least not enough to freeze their genitals off. Perhaps one or two were spies from future opponents who'd already seen enough to know they had nothing to fear. If I had a hypothermic four-year-old with me who was turning blue despite being woollied up to high heaven (and a couple of folks did) I'd probably have left too, at 3-0 down.

The traditional reason given for leaving early has always been to beat the traffic. In the old days this used to mean being able to get a bus back down Grimsby Road that wasn't straining its rivets under an unfeasible number of passengers. Now it just means being able to pull out of Fuller Street without having to be let in.

There are some away grounds with appalling car parks (Northampton springs to mind, and Lincoln's South Common), where leaving the game two minutes early can save you about an hour and a half, not to mention the petrol burned while you sit there, engine idling, waiting for vehicles to filter through an exit one car wide.

In the big London games there's a strong incentive to avoid human gridlock on the Tube afterwards, which can be circumvented by a pounce for the stadium exit as soon as you're sure nothing meaningful will be missed. All this said, I tend to think that here at Grimsby none of these things really apply. If we're even moderately patient, we can get out and away pretty quickly these days, even if we wait until the players and idiot ref are safely down the tunnel.

Another reason to leave early has always been - like it or not - to indicate displeasure at the performance. This is one of the things that has really changed in modern football. The last chant of "what a load of rubbish" to ring round Blundell Park really wasn’t all that long ago, although the lack of support this indicates would be profoundly unpopular nowadays. Booing a team off? Same applies, but we've certainly seen it. Or even just standing by the tunnel and looking blankly at them instead of applauding them off the field, is a common enough occurrence.

Why making them play the last five minutes to a half empty ground isn't just a very mild and probably preferable version of the same old tradition I don't know. Surely the players aren't so in need of constant adulation that they can’t bear to leave the pitch through a half empty stand when they've miserably underperformed?

Whatever time we leave, our support is not actually in question. Indeed the reason we are so upset is precisely because we're stuck with this team. People leaving a match early seem to be a combination of those who don't care enough, and those who care too much

The suggestion that you need to support your team right up to the last second of the most soul- and limb-numbing thrashing is slightly odd. Whatever time we leave our support, contrary to suggestion, is not actually in question. We're not going to change our allegiance next week based on one bad performance. Indeed the reason we are so upset is precisely because we're stuck with this team, and we're destined to always come back for more. If it was as easy as switching sides, you'd never get upset enough to leave before the end in the first place. Basically, people leaving a match early seem to be a combination of those who don't care enough, and those who care too much. Either way, they're not flippin' hostages.

Personally, I can honestly say that there are just two reasons why I never leave early. The first is that once in your life, and probably only once, Town will be three nil down with six minutes to go and win 4-3. Indeed, being 2-0 down with two minutes to go and drawing 2-2 may be relatively common. These are the great moments – the events that make the accumulated investment of time and emotion all worth it. And if you leave early, you miss 'em. So what's the point of that, exactly?

Secondly, out of all the places I've always gone – the places from my childhood that I come back to time and time again – Blundell Park is my favourite, and the last one still in existence in anything like its original form. All the rest are gone. As are many of the people I've known, for whom this was also their special place. Sad bastard though it makes me - despite freezing temperatures, defeat, anything - there's nowhere I'd actually rather be. It's a privilege to have such a special place in your life, and I leave either when they make me, or when everything's closing down and there’s no point in hanging around any more that day. And that's it really. The reason I don't go home before the end is that, at Blundell Park, I'm already there.

Tomorrow it's Notts County, the perennial underachievers who this year have been extremely poor. "If we can’t beat that lot, there really is something wrong" is a phrase you often hear people say. But surely by now you can't think that that's how football works? With Town's natural biorhythms at a low ebb, the three new signings might just be perfectly timed to break the pattern and get us going again. We warmly welcome Akwasi, Jamey and Chris Clements who signed late yesterday. Enjoy.

Other news is that Josh Venney has gone out to Sutton Coldfield on loan, and let us tell them what a super player they've got. Bignotism of the week this week was his mention of the 2twelve yard box". Overall moment of the week was Nathan Arnold being interviewed live on BBC1 on the Lincoln pitch, immediately after his dramatic injury time FA Cup winner against Ipswich. "Does that beat scoring for Grimsby at Wembley?" asked the interviewer. "Erm… erm… It's up there". So "No", then. Fucking stupid question.
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