Match stats: Chesterfield v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 5 August 2017

Division 4

Chesterfield 1 Dennis (82)

Grimsby Town 3 Clarke (33), Jones (39), Davies (pen 85)

Attendance: 7925 (2650 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: James McKeown

For all the furious intensity of Clarke and Collins, for all the horizontal hoverings by Rose, if James McKeown hadn’t been awake Town’s little boat would have sunk before they left harbour.

Our gaffer says

"Everybody played their part when we were under pressure. I thought we put our bodies on the line and put numerous blocks in and a couple of saves from James [McKeown] so from a defensive point of view we did everything possible and were so together in denying them opportunities."

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Their gaffer says

"We started really well and created opportunities but the first goal changes things. Losing one to a set piece is disappointing and the second goal is poor from us. We have to be more ruthless and cynical in the middle of the pitch."

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Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin', I'm sittin' here, just contemplatin'. I can't twist the truth, it’s a Slade team playing Sladeball. A bit of football now and again, but generally it’s big blokes getting in the way of the opposition and whacking it downfield.

It's all about the defending. The back four stood in the right places, then got in the way when shots and crosses bombed in. Rose, particularly Rose, was a one man battering ram, throwing himself at anything and everything. Please don’t ever let him have the ball at his feet, that's to miss the point of Mitch Rose, and to cause mortal danger to our world.

Town's attacking was not much more than Clarke at set pieces and "Give it to Dembele." So that's at least two options then. We're rich!

A basic structure exists, and that indefinable necessity of collective spirit appeared to be present. That should be enough to avoid relegation. Who knows how poor the rest of the division is yet, grinding adequacy was enough to get half the league into play-off contention last year, wasn't it.

New Kids in Town

Dixon was unobtrusively effective, the invisible hand guiding his winger to the market place and selling him a nice comfy dog basket to sit in for ninety minutes.

Clarke's a big old bruiser, a no-nonsense knocker and blocker with legs that move moderately. A man who knows his limitations.

Let's be positive about his negative competence. Mitch Rose was a marvellous mauve mangler - without the ball. A hunter gatherer, not cave painter or arable farmer. Along with sunshine there's gotta be a little rain sometime. There's nothing he likes more than raining on other people's parade of poses.

Dembele – listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? We're all swooning at sensational Siriki's swishing and swaying. Love him while it lasts. If you haven't see him yet I just don't think you understand.

Kelly – Ah. If you haven't see him yet I just don't think you understand. The man behind me was pining for Joe Colbeck within fifteen minutes. Harsh, but true.


The Inspiral Spirites hammered Town for the first 20 minutes and most of the second half, walking through and around the Mariners Mauvelettes at will. O'Grady and Ugwu were chesty ram-raiders feasting on soggy chips, Reid was a pest, flittering between the sheets and generally they looked lovely. And Dennis was a menace, as he always is.

But they wouldn't shoot, and when they did they couldn't shoot straight. You know what, they were a bit of a posy team, still practicing their moves for the choreographer before they burst out onto stage singing uplifting songs about trees. They got the "Look", but they forgot about the substance. Perhaps they've gone a bit hoity-toity since they got the shiny new retail space on the edge of town?

Chesterfield were surprisingly spacious in defence.

Zippy and nippy, but without a snap, crackle and pop. Chesterfielders looked collectively content to accumulate points for artistic content. Like a slower watered down version of Pompey, these Balletboyz need to buck up their ideas otherwise what should be a stroll will become a tolling bell of missed opportunities hanging around the bottom of the play-offs.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

Well, didn't we have fun in the sun swooning at Siriki and Sam.

Official warning

Mr E Ilderton

Fast Eddie lost his mind in the last ten minutes, especially with his indulgence of Dennis the Menace's sly, sneaky and bleedin' obvious hacking and whacking. All of which wiped out his accumulated club card points for studiously avoiding giving any penalties for ball-to-hand incidents subject to a rash of complaints by local residents to the local council. He won't get a free coffee at his local Costa: 6.012. Aren't we being nice to him.

Readers' digest

Soggy chips, Derbyshire drips and Town cruising.

In a word: Sladian


Chesterfield: Anyon; Wiseman, Hird, Evatt, Wakefield (Denis 45), Weir (McCourt 79), Reed, Sinnott (Brewster 69), Donohue, Ugwu, O'Grady

Subs not used: Lee, Mitchell, Maguire, Barry

Booked: Dennis, Donohoe

Sent Off: Evatt

Town: McKeown; Mills, Collins, Clarke, Dixon; Dembele (Davies 75), Kelly (Summerfield 55), Berrett, Rose, Jones (Cardwell 79), Vernon

Subs not used: K Osborne, Bolarinwa, Keeble, Killip

Booked: Mills

Sent Off: Mills