The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Dot dot dot and I feel fine

13 April 2018

Wicklow Diary writes: I'm sure that the preparation for Barnet started in earnest for Michael Jolley on Monday. Not me. I filled the bath with Saturday's three points and soaked in them for most of the week. What's seldom is wonderful. The players also enjoyed the return of that winning feeling. Social media accounts that had been hibernating for most of the winter awoke after the game with a bevy of buzzing baller messages.

Perhaps the best indicator of the victory's magnitude was the club's official Twitter doing something to engage supporters other than mindlessly peddling DIY and pie ads. It interacted like a normal human social media being and inspired some of the best GTFC photoshopping since the heady days of Sladehead.

More good news came in the oversized foam shape of Mighty Mariner. A victim of one of the club's trademark clusterfucks, Andy Carr is back after a surprise, but welcome, change of heart from Blundell Park's top brass. In a move obviously inspired by the triumphant returns of Matt Tees, Alan Buckley and Russell Slade, Mighty has been given the number 28 shirt and is expected to start up front alongside Harry Cardwell tomorrow. 

@MichaelJolley07 doesn't do your twitters any more but still wanted to send us a message. He filled the midweek lull with a Tuesday 'won the battle, not the war' statement that simply couldn't wait for tomorrow's programme notes. We're wary of new managers waxing lyrical. Marcus Bignot, you may recall, couldn't stop talking. However, like his previous address, Jolley's message is intelligent and the delivery considered. In these grave times it has a weight and tone that wouldn't be out of place on a crackly 1930s Whitehall radio broadcast. It's in contrast to Marcus's 'I Think I'm Falling in Love', which was mimed to a backing track on the Radio 1 Roadshow whilst wearing Timmy Mallett novelty sunglasses. Sorry, that's harsh on Marcus. There's a surprising amount of bitterness towards him from Town fans and some greeted his departure this week from Chester with amusement. I'm not having that. Bignot might have had his failings but he certainly deserves better than getting the sack in the car park. Club chairmen, eh?

Back to Barnet and Martin Allen got in on the messaging act yesterday by saying 'GTFC are great and frankly, I'm not sure if we can be arsed' yesterday. I'm assuming he read Jolley's words and playfully decided to adopt an opposite tack. Regardless, if we beat Barnet, we've 94.9% chance of staying up. That's based on some mighty fine statting from Ben Mayhew. I'm backing up the science with omens fresh from the CA inbox. If John England's timely Barnety input hadn't already guaranteed his inclusion in the diary, the fact that he lives in Disley, Cheshire surely would have. In fact, John could have sent us last week's Icelandic TV listings with that postmark and we'd have included them. Anyway, over to John:

I’m as nervous as anybody about our big game on Saturday and, whilst I’m not a superstitious type of bloke, it struck me that there may be an omen somewhere in a historical event that took place on April 14th, the day we play Barnet.

Yes, in the Wars of the Roses, on April 14th, 1471, the Yorkist forces under Edward IV defeated the Lancastrians at the Battle of Barnet, securing the throne for the king. Edward had returned from exile earlier that year, landing, with his army, at Ravenspurn, an old village near Spurn Head, before marching southwards to win his battle.

I’m struggling here, trying to find omens in a battle that took place 547 years ago but could the fact that we can see Spurn Head from the Findus Stand be one? No, a bit tenuous, I think.

Unfortunately, we don’t have anybody called Edward playing up front and we don’t play in white so perhaps we should swallow our Lincolnshire pride for the day and wear white roses at the game! Let’s face it, most of us would do anything to guarantee a win and secure, if not the throne, then our equally prized status in the football league!

I'll take it, John. We've got two Roses, well one if you count those with valid work permits. Besides, as original/regular diary pointed out on Tuesday, not only can we see Spurn Head, they can now hear us with our super new Spinal Tap turned up to eleven speaker system. Also making his way to the inbox is Matt Quinton. His rallying cry has a page to itself so have a gander.

Our team news. Town have no new injuries and Simeon Jackson and Ben Davies are available again. Rich Lord posted some grim season stats on the Fishy this week. We've scored twelve goals from open play at BP. Twelve! I want to cry. At least we've started to create chances again. Indeed, last week's late heroics may not have been required at all with a poacher patrolling the six yard hump. We haven't seen much of Jackson but you know the goal he scored on his debut against Cheltenham? That's a big part of what we're missing in attack. Fingers crossed we'll see some of it tomorrow. UTM.