Cod Almighty | Match Stats
Tuesday 14 August 2018
League Cup (R1)
Grimsby Town 0
Rochdale 2 Rathbone (39, 79)
Attendance: 1781 (172 away fans)
They wanted to meet the honourable Charles Vernam, CBE, MBE, DVLA, CBA, TTFN. It would have been cheaper for them to have hung around Morrisons' petrol station on his way home.
When the best you can hope for is someone who gets stuck in, you know the slim pickings of post-match praise will go to Welsh or Whitmore. It’s the Scouse scrapper’s turn tonight.
As usual absolutely nothing new, nothing surprising, nothing of note, nothing witty, nothing mad, nothing, nothing, nothing. What's the point of cleaving something from this void? Today's random selection from the Jolley generator of word-splurting:
"Overall I'm disappointed to lose the game, but there were some positives to take."
What a waste of time.
The Hilly Daleman was a tad annoyed that for all their evident superiority the dashing Dalers didn't shoot enough.
"I think we're a bit fluffy at times."
Yeah, but such lovely fluff.
Professor Jolley's post-match meta-analysis for his time-shifted holistic deep dive into the dodgy data will, again, show that Town have a problem with space situational awareness capabilities.
No pace, no threat, no idea how to attack.
Town just about, on balance, mostly, stopped the lilac lopers from walking the ball into the net. Only after the arrival of the Bright Young Things, and the game was already officially up, did Town have anything remotely resembling "a go" at 'em.
Names? Don't waste your time moaning about Woolford and Dixon, they are on their last legs, trying hard but incapable of competing with higher grade, well-oiled machines. Vernam never passes, Hooper never really bothers, Cook never looked likely to get anywhere near goal. The three-pronged attacking trident is a plastic spoon.
Akheem Rose and Max Wright: verve, vim, pace. Let's hang our hat of hope on that ten minute cameo, not the 80 minutes of mush before.
Rochdale. Something to aspire to be.
They were like a peak era Buckley team: lively, lovely to watch and immensely impressive. With just two flaws. A defence that wibbles at set pieces and a gentlemanly approach to avoiding embarrassing the opposition through an unwillingness to shoot.
We'd be happy if they were us, for they are what we used to be.
Who cares?
Mr D England (South Yorkshire)
Have we seen the last of England? I do hope so. A big club creeper who saw sharp teeth when small furry animals smiled, but heard only angel trumpets when the devil hummed a tune: 5.111
Outplayed, outthought, outrageously inert and out of the Cup.
In a word: humbiliated
Town: McKeown, Davis, Whitmore, Collins, Dixon (Robles 72), Welsh, Vernam, Woolford, Hessenthaler, Hooper (A Rose 83), Cook (Wright 83)
Subs not used: Russell, Famewo, Clifton, Buckley
Booked: Welsh
Rochdale: Lillis, McGahey, Delaney, McNulty (Camps 90+2), Rafferty, Cannon (Done 70), Perkins, Rathbone, Ntlhe, Henderson, Andrew (Wilbraham 70)
Subs not used: Williams, Inman, Moore, Adshead
Booked: McNulty