Match stats: Grimsby v Newport County

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 2 February 2019

Division 4

Grimsby Town 3 Cook (17, 56), Demetriou og (84)

Newport County 0

Attendance: 3712 (78 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Jordan Cook

After two goals and ninety minutes of niggling nudgery, the corpulent corporates were happy to spread a little happiness to the forgotten forward.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Jordan Cook

The Hess is The Hess, that goes without saying these days, while Woolford had some Cockerillesque moments of strutting trots. But you gotta be crazy not to hail the hard-working dynamo, Jordan Cook, for a bagful of pesterment after being galvanised by the appearance of Dennis the Menace.

Our gaffer says

Continuing his policy of treating the twin imposters the same, and content that the benign local media are not knavish twisters, the sentinel of soccer sense described events thus:

"It was a really good win. We weren't happy with the start, then we scored, out of the blue almost, and I thought after that in the first half we were the better side, and we played some really good football."

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Their gaffer says

Flustered Flynn faced down furious fandom by invoking the C word in his defence. Surely an FA charge looms?

"I've got supporters asking me at the end of the game then 'why didn't you want to win the game?' It's just an easy thing to say because we've made a few changes.

"I've done that before and we've won games in the Checkatrade Trophy"

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Last week we could see what Town were trying to do; this week they did it. It's called football.

After yet again being lightly mugged for quarter of an hour, Jolleytown began to purr with little nicks and knocks of pleasing triangles. They passed, they moved, and everyone just got stuck in. There was a fluid discipline to the play with defenders, particularly RHJ, stepping forward to augment attacks.

Defenders. Defending. Willing to get hurt to stop a shot. And Russell is still a very good goalkeeper indeed at this level, which is useful.

It wasn't all perfect, as Thomas had a semi-stinker and Embleton was in head-down glory mode, but the rest were smoothly efficient in implementing the best laid plans of St Michael of Jolley.

Town have built on the base and the house is beginning to take shape nicely.


You can see why these worshippers at the cult of Cowleyball cause "big" teams problems in the cups. They're just bog-standard beefballers who rely on bullying and battering the physically and mentally weak.

But in Town they met a disciplined collective that stood up to them and they had nothing else to add to the gaiety of the nation, for they have no reserves of strength.

They want set pieces, and that's the long ball, the long throw and the fall of it. A less indulgent ref will see them on the route one to nowhere. They're the sort of team that gets near the play-offs through sheer persistence, but they're just bog standard fourth division fare.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

Relaxing into the Jolley life.

Official warning

Mr A Backhouse (Cumbria)

On the one hand he did not even book a Townite, let alone comply with the latest FA missive and find a way to send off one of our defenders. But anyone who takes 85 minutes before penalising Jamille Matt for his tumbling tomfoolery displays a basic misunderstanding of life.

Lenient on leaning, he let the game flow up to the point where ambers tumbled. Could have been worse, could have been better.

This man's career is going nowhere, he's just not bad enough to be a ponceyship ref: 6.101

Readers' digest

Fluid flowing football with a bottle of stout at the back.

In a word: gelling


Town: Russell; Hendrie, Hall-Johnson (Whitmore 75), Öhman, Collins, Ring; Embleton (Clifton 65), Hessenthaler, Woolford; Cook, Thomas (Dennis 79)

Subs not used: Grayson, Welsh, Vernam, Cardwell

Newport County: Townsend, Pipe, Demetriou, Neufville, Poole, Marsh-Brown (Amond 59), Labadie (Sheehan 62), Dolan, Kennedy, Matt, Bakinson (Crofts 80)

Subs not used: Day, Butler, Hornby-Forbes, O’Brien

Booked: Pipe