Match stats: Grimsby v Stevenage

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 6 April 2019

Division 4

Grimsby Town 0

Stevenage 2 Guthrie (23, 50)

Attendance: 3689 (112 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Jake Hessenthaler

And why not; someone has to shake those money-makers by the hand.

Cod Almighty man of the match: No-one

No one. It would have been RHJ if he'd been allowed to stay out longer before he had come inside for his tea.

Our gaffer says

Blather, blather, blather, distraction and bland observations.

"We spoke at half time about trying to play with energy, and being more offensive in the second half."

Yes Michael, it was quite offensive.

More on this

Their gaffer says

Whatever. Why waste time listening to time-wasters.

Us

One could sit in a high-backed, fluffy padded chair up on the moral high ground and muse upon the difference between a battle and a war, to place this period of our lives in a strategic context of a dead-end season.

Yeah, but you're not sat in chilly wind-blown stadiums watching Town slide into a Sladian descent into badness.

There isn't anything positive to say. Davis in the Parslow Pivot Point was an unmitigated failure, the centre-backs, easily disturbed, Dennis wasted as the solo scuffler. Others auditioning for Altrincham.

There was nothing, nothing, nothing.

Them

Deeply ordinary, dismally effective, drearily mundane mid-tablers.

Only non-League teams think wasting time from the kick-off is being professional.

With a shoddy defence and flappy shot-stopper, this bunch of bores just had some fluidity and cohesion in attack. And the little Chair was the outstanding footballer on the pitch, he literally rang rings round Town at times.

They're awfully average with an awful attitude. Town were no trouble for them, obviously.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

It's the silence of the damned.

Official warning

Mr T Kettle

A strange brew, slightly indulgent of their amateur antics but generally perfectly adequate, unlike the linesman under the Police Box. He just added the wasted time on and on and on: 7.444

Readers' digest

Toiling, spoiling and blood barely boiling.

In a word: creosote

Line-ups

Town: McKeown, Hendrie, Whitmore, Collins, Hall-Johnson (Grayson 57), Davis (Burrell 84), Clifton, Hessenthaler, Cardwell (Woolford 70), Vernam and Dennis

Subs not used: Russell, Ring, Pollock, Buckley

Booked: Clifton

Stevenage: Farman, Wildin Nugent, Cuthbert, Martin, Vancooten, Timlin, Byrom (Iontton 45), Makasi (Sonupe 78), Chair (Newton 62), Guthrie

Subs not used: Byrne, Hunt, McKee, Smyth

Booked: Martin