Cod Almighty | Diary
Grimsby Town F
5 November 2019
If you don't, your parents or grandparents will remember the episode of Whatever happened to the likely lads where Terry and Bob spend a day trying to avoid learning the score of an England international, so that they can enjoy the highlights late in the evening. It's a scenario hard to imagine nowadays, although Domestic Diary does know some rugby fans who couldn't watch Saturday's world cup final live but did eventually watch it in blissful ignorance of the result. I suspect they still didn't enjoy it.
If you have been avoiding all the weekend Town news so that you can enjoy Tuesday's Cod Almighty Diary to the full, let me both put you out of your misery and keep you in suspense. In addition to the men's team's postponement at Plymouth, the women's game was cancelled due to a waterlogged pitch at Lincoln Moorlands Development.
The Under-18s did manage to get a game though, at Blundell Park on Friday evening in the first round of the FA Youth Cup. Their opponents were (don't mention the) Rugby Town. The first half was goalless, and a bit scrappy by the sounds of it.
It is worth reading the article on the official site about Grimsby Town Women's cancelled game as it also includes details of Women's Football Weekend: 16-17 November. Town women will be marking the occasion with their first ever Lincolnshire County Cup game, at Louth on the Sunday.
They played 90 minutes in the FA Youth Cup game on Friday, and still there was no score. Town dominated the second half but couldn't find the breakthrough. The boys - and by god they do look young - went into extra time.
Returning to Terry and Bob, at one point in their day of sports news avoidance, Bob confessed that he had caught sight of half a newspaper hoarding: "England f..." They spent anguished minutes speculating what word could follow the F.
Given Grimsby Town's current state of football-lessness, you wonder what the F in Grimsby Town FC really stands for. Footling, perhaps. Or floundering - especially the women if they'd been forced to splash about on that watery Lincoln pitch.
Result. The under-18's Luis Adlard has run onto a deflected through ball in space in the penalty area and tucked it under the Rugby goalkeeper. Watch it here. Grimsby win 1-0 after extra time. In the next round of the cup, they will travel to Crewe, on Wednesday 13 November. If the men's team's recent experiences at Alex are anything to go by, that is a game we really could do with getting cancelled.
Before then, allegedly, the first team will take on Newport in the FA Cup, watched by a crowd exulting in ticket offers and fish and chips. The catering department really won't like it if on your way to Blundell Park you get going a chant of "We piss on your fish."
This afternoon, the reserves play Rotherham at the Miller's training base at Roundwood. Before reading the article on the official site, I confidently said to myself: "I imagine we'll take quite a strong team, given the first team hasn't had a match for two weeks." Which shows what I know: it will be "a young Town side", and "young" is usually a euphemism for "not in contention for the first team".
Admission is free, but if you want to find out who is playing, you'll have to find the person at the gate in a club tie hissing: "Psst, want to buy some sexy teamsheets? Lots of names. Interesting numbers. For you, a special price."
I'd get along if you can. Chances to watch Town play football are few and far between these days.