Match stats: Grimsby v Newport County

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 9 November 2019

FA Cup (R1)

Grimsby Town 1 Waterfall (43)

Newport County 1 Amond (pen 80)

Attendance: 2086 (59 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Luke Waterfall

He scored, he nearly scored again, he headed their crosses away. The sponsored bunners just wanted to thank Big Beefy Luke for seeing an actual goal in your actual Blundell Park.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Matt Pollock

Energy and motion made visible, memories of amber attacking arrested in space. The lad’s got something for whenever he plays, wherever he plays, he learns, he copes.

A splendid effort and attitude.

Our gaffer says

Pleased. Disappointed. Words, just words. Noise, just noise. Who cares? Life’s far too short for stale plain soundbites.

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Their gaffer says

Mental Mikey muttered and mithered about their missing inaction. Well, you should have played Amond from the start then matey. Who’s sloppy now?
"We gave away a sloppy goal and but for sloppy finishing and sloppy final balls we should have had a hat full of goals today."

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Us

So much for the golden future Jolley can't even start. We've had every promise broken, there's anger in our heart. There is nothing there.

Pollock’s spiritual growth and Waterfall’s forehead. The rest? Cheap knitwear and polyester pant suits. No wide players, no full-backs, no wit, no style, no method, no ideas, no joie-de-vivre, no surprises.

One day this bore's gonna end.

Them

Whining, diving and thriving. They get their kicks from pretending to be lame.
This is what a stereotype looks like. They do it quite well and are more than the sum of their parts. Some of them can even play football adequately if left alone. They are no better than Cambridge, but then again apart from Crewe who is no better or worse than Cambridge in Division Bore?

The draw was the least they deserved, but only Amond look like scoring in open play. A superior form of average.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

No alarms, no surprises. Silent, silent.

Official warning

Mr L Doughty

The pastel peeper was a curious beast, mostly sensible, but occasionally playing the percentages in awarding free kicks to the Newport Amateur Dramatic Society in their modern dance interpretation of And then there were none.

The penalty? Way, way away and no-one complained much, so let's give him the benefit of our one-eyed rose-tinted doubt. He could have been a lot worse: 6.999

Readers' digest

There’s nothing in it

In a word: Pitiful

Line-ups

Town: Russell; Pollock, Waterfall, Öhman, Gibson; Cook (Cardwell 89), Hessenthaler, Whitehouse (Clifton 83), Robson; Green (Rose 68), Hanson

Subs not used: Battersby, Davis, Starbuck, Ogbu

Booked: Öhman, Green

Newport County: King, O'Brien, Bennett (Poleon 77), Inniss, Willmott, Haynes, Labadie, Nurse (Whitely 64) , Sheehan, Matt, Abrahams (Amond 64).

Subs not used: Townsend, Howkins, Dolan, Maloney