Match stats: Mansfield Town v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 4 January 2020

Division 4

Mansfield Town 0

Grimsby Town 1 Benning (og 66)

Attendance: 5840 (1337 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: Harry Clifton

Who ain't?

It was all about the base, with the post-Unfortunate Event centre-backs particularly magnificent. But I know that you know that I know that you know that Harry Clifton was the man for all seasons. Left-back, centre-back and all across the middle, our little big man was here, there and everywhere, fixing every hole, filling every crack.

Our gaffer says

The Laughing Gnome almost talked about The Football at one point, but settled for a love-in with his new footballing family:

"They got all their presents for Christmas, they don’t even really know who I am yet! One of them calls me ba instead of gramps!"

Oh hang on, that's about his real family. The Holloway Man burbled on about this and that, but let's settle for this:

"Tickety-boo"

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Their gaffer says

The Sighing Man of Mansfield mixed his metaphors like he mixes his martinis:

"I knew they were going to hit a brick wall. It was maybe a bridge too far to ask them to keep going today."

But he saw what we saw, so at least he's honest with himself:

"I can't hang around. One manager has lost his job with this group of players already and I don't want to be the second one."

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Us

Shall we just let the emotion speak for itself?

Utterly fantastic fortitude from them all. The youngsters were immense, especially Clifton and Pollock. Above everything, they were all so calm in implementing the plans.

Just soak it in, it was everything you think it was. The heart is beating strong, loud and proud.

Professional, poised and another almost perfect day.

Them

OK, let's do some Mansplaining.

This lot should be doing so much better than they are, but are doing as well as they deserve to be. Lightweight physically and mentally, they are stuffed with 'talent' but are always waiting for opponents to bow before their Mansfieldness.

They don't look like they want to get hurt, but are too prepared to hurt opponents from behind. It's still the same bunch of whiners and diners that sneaked a win in the autumn.

Unless Coughlin has a scalpel and oodles of cash, they'll bumble along in humbling mid-table obscurity

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

The congregation has returned to the church, belting out those revivalist tunes.

Official warning

Mr J Oldham

Long before the Fall of the House of Waterfall this raspberry fool had shown himself to be easily persuaded by locals that his car tyres would benefit from a recognition that Stags are always innocent creatures. He was extremely weak and a total homerphylliac, despite attempts to mask his true self with arbitrary yellows for yellows.

This fella put us through hella, can't you hear me yella: 4.02.

Readers' digest

We came, they saw, we conquered.

In a word: tickety-boo

Line-ups

Mansfield Town: Logan, White (Clark 74), Benning, Preston, Pearce, Bishop (Cook 51), MacDonald, Mellis, Hamilton, Maynard, Rose (Davies 86)

Subs not used: Olejnik, Khan, Smith, Knowles

Booked: White, Pearce, Davies

Town: McKeown, Hendrie, Waterfall, Davis, Gibson (Whitehouse 80), Clifton, Hessenthaler, Robson, Vernam, Ogbu (Rose 55), Wright (Pollock 13)

Subs not used: Russell, Hewitt, Öhman, Cardwell.

Booked: McKeown, Gibson

Sent Off: Waterfall