Match stats: Crawley Town v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Tuesday 24 November 2020

Division 4

Crawley Town 1 Watters (4)

Grimsby Town 2 Green (35), Wright (51)

Attendance: 0 (0 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: Max Wright

Perhaps we should go to Kazakhstan. Today Matthew, Danny Rose was an anchorman. But he wasn't why we won, that's down to the zip and nip of Maximum Wright, the winger with a zinger.

Our gaffer says

Never let it be said that The Pied Piper lets a passing swallow go to waste when a shaft of sunlight appears. Media tart turns on media baguette:

"Some of your questions are off the wall. You're talking out your backside."

And then he remembered his USP and he was back in character:

"How could you build Rome in Covid times, you can't get a plasterer."

The sanitised madness can be found in the usual place, where you'll also find his DVD of the week choice.

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Their gaffer says

No matter how he tries hell never be as surly in Sussex as mascara man Steve Evans:

"I don't mind getting beat but that wasn't me, it wasn't Crawley."

Oh, but it was.

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Don’t get excited 'cos we're still short, but the inanities, incoherence and implosions were mostly avoided. Mostly.

It was all about the pace, all about that pace, no trouble, with Edwards and Wright. Two wingers winging was wonderfully adequate. Waterfall and Rose did what they were supposed to do as joint Akelas: leading their young cubs through the jungle, foraging for berries, lighting fires with their manly stares and scaring away the squirrels.

Town at least looked like a team who had an idea or two and a little bit of grit. Far from perfect, but perfectly okay. Mostly.


The Creepy-Crawleys hinted at activity, but in general found it a little beneath them to actually bother against the northern poor.

They really didn't have much of a plan beyond hustling and bustling Idehen with big bouncy balls beyond. A muddle in the middle such that the Hess was just an ill-defined general bloke in red.

Perhaps they need to go on a team-building table-tapping weekend near Bognor.

Official warning

Mr K Johnson

Appallingly adequate, shockingly sensible, a big disgrace to the refereeing race.  The only thing we have to complain about is there is nothing to complain about: 8.986


Crawley Town: Morris, Doherty, McNerny, Craig, Matthews (Nardesan 62), Adebowale, Hessenthaler, Powell, Hesketh (Frost 86), Nicholls (Ashford 89), Watters

Subs not used: Nelson, Dallison, Tsaroulla, Galach

Booked: Watters

Town: McKeown, Hendrie, Waterfall, Idehen (Clifton 75), Preston, Hewitt, Rose, Wright, Edwards (Gomis 83), Green (Starbuck 90), Scannell (Adlard 90)

Subs not used: Battersby, Spokes, Taylor

Booked: Hewitt