The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Wind and Rains Is Cold

2 December 2020

Well, I don’t like talking to myself,

But someone’s gotta say it, hell, I mean

Things have not been going well…



BOTB Diary writes;

In the days before footballers were forced to play twice weekly, poor dears, having a Wednesday diary was often an opportunity to let the hair down, kick off the slippers and mull over various aspects of the beautiful game. Nowadays, it feels like being the first responder at the scene of an accident (Town 1 Exeter 4! Whole Town in Shock! Injection of New Blood Needed Immediately!) and some sort of report seems in order.

Actually, Tony Butcher will be writing the full match report so I won't bother, as not only will he capture the spirit of the proceeedings more skilfully than me, he'll also throw in at least 150 references to Pink Floyd. I tried that style of writing once but ended up editing it so much, barely any of the actual report made it to the final cut. Suffice it to say: Exeter looked rather better than we did, stronger defensive wall and, erm, saucerful of secrets. 

Our pain was intensified by the bizarre result at Harrogate, where near neighbours and mortal enemies Scunthorpe United somehow managed to score 5 (five) goals, not in a season as per usual, but in a single match. I’m not one to cast aspersions, but if every player on that pitch wasn't tested for drugs after the final whistle then someone is not doing their job.

Actually, I am going to "take a positive" from that match, like people do these days (sure it used to be called looking on the bright side). A week or three ago, Scunny were... well, Scunny, as hapless and hopeless as ever with their chances of winning a match this season bordering on the negligible. Now they are beating Harrogate "having a quick holiday in the League before oblivion" Town by 5 (five) goals to 2.

It shows how quickly things can change, and how, given a fair wind, some new players in the window and a bit of luck, we could be hitting the dizzy heights of mediocrity before the daffodils come out. After all, one thing I have noticed from the games I have seen is that the teams we haven't been beating don't look too difficult to beat.

There is no doubt we are pretty poor at the moment and the fans are rightly not happy, but it is easy to forget we have won two and drawn one of our last five games. Yes, we conceded nine in the two defeats, but sometimes teams do get smacked upside the head, particularly in an arid, barren nonsensical season such as this one. I mean, Harrogate just conceded 5 (five) to Scunny and I'm sure they aren't banging their heads against the wall in woe. Although they should be. They didn't fold like cheap deckchairs when they played us, did they? That's right, Harrogate. Give it everything against the mighty Mighties, then allow Scunny to treat you like a dog toy. Useless bunch of muppets. Get back to Yorkshire.

Last week I mentioned how it always seems to be the funny one in a comedy duo that dies first. I am grateful to Twitter followers for adding scaffolding to the still-under-construction theory by mentioning Ronnie Barker, Barry Chuckle and Dustin Gee. I am also grateful for the mention of Hale and Pace, who will doubtless become the first comedy double-act in history to live forever.

I'm going to close with a big thank you to everyone at CA. I just do the fun bit, writing nonsense once a week, but the boys here have kept this marvellous site going for aeons. It is unpaid and thankless work, except for now, because I'm thanking them. Cheers. UTM