Match stats: Port Vale v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 9 January 2021

Division 4

Port Vale 3 Brisley (8), Rodney (14) Waterfall (og, 59)

Grimsby Town 0

Attendance: 0 (0 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: Luke Hendrie

Unlike many of Holloway's flibbertigibbet fancydans, Luke Hendrie drove all night and didn't give in. He kicked them when he had to. He's what you need when you feed at the bottom. Help us wonky one, you may be our only hope at the back.

Our gaffer says

Patience, and time, are much shorter than his legs. Let his words ring out, for they ring true:

"We have to be harder to play against. There were a couple of occasions where we looked favourite for the ball and came away second, then again we don't get there, and there's two sides to a game.

"I've said to the players its fine wanting to play when we've got the ball, or classing yourself as a ball player, but you have to do both."

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Their gaffer says

The man who would be their king for several months before he's thanked for his time was hyperbolically happy with the first part of his job interview – turning up to accept the three points offered up by the gods of the fixture list:

"All the credit goes to the players. They have put in a performance today that was outstanding, every single one of them"

They were indeed out there standing in a field.

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Cousin Paul inherited the big old house from Mad Uncle Ian, but when he walked inside with his loyal old Deputy Doig he found dry rot, damp rot, woodworm in the timber frame. He looked up and the water poured down from a leaky roof lacking all but a couple of tiles.

They stumbled through the subsidence and in the overgrown grounds met the downbeat, downtrodden detritus of the economy, a huge squad of homeless squatters, eking a life from the tumbleweed garden of Eden.

Oh yes, there be inheritance issues.

But at least the villagers are happy to see them and will help in any way they can. If they need to raze it to the ground and start again from scratch, well it just has to be done. The fault lies with the former custodians and freeholders.

We all know what the problems are, you don't need to be told the same thing week after week


A couple of adequately tricksy wingers and bustling centre-forwards was all it took to wash off the whitewash slapped on to Holly's Zeroes. The Burslem Bustlers are no better, no worse than most in this distinctly dreary division.

Town carved them apart at times, which should worry them.

These Valiants were flattered by the score line and if they wish to deceive themselves about the significance that's up to them.

Official warning

Mr G Salisbury

This is getting creepy, oh when will we have a fig leaf to hide behind?

What did we get from this old timer? A series of sensible decisions, even sensibly discussing events with his linesmen and sensibly changing his mind when error was sensibly spotted. It must be a conspiracy against us: 8.391


Port Vale: Brown, Montano, Brisley, Smith, Mills, Hurst, Conlon, Joyce, Worrall (Whitehead 80), Pope (Robinson 80), Rodney (Burgess h-t)

Subs not used: Visser, Amoo, Campbell-Gordon, Cullen

Booked: Joyce, Brisley

Town: Russell, Hendrie, Pollock, Waterfall, Preston (Habergham h-t), Rose, Morias (Wright 73), Clifton (Williams h-t), Hewitt, Bennett, Green (Gibson 65)

Subs not used: Russell, Spokes, Jackson jnr

Booked: Wright