Match stats: Grimsby v Cheltenham Town

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Monday 5 April 2021

Division 4

Grimsby Town 1 John-Lewis (8)

Cheltenham Town 1 Boyle (33)

Attendance: 0 (0 away fans)

Cod Almighty man of the match: James McKeown

With Town playing Rugby Union there's no-one in stripes to pin the tail on the donkey. So what about the orange? For clawing, pawing and mauling under mortar fire James McKeown takes the biscuit home. He kept the score down, and his dignity.

Our gaffer says

Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark, what did they say when everything looked so dark?
Man, they said Paul Hurst better accentuate the positive, even if he can't quite eliminate the negative:

"I can't stand here and fault the players for effort, for commitment, and at times some decent-ish football in difficult conditions."

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Their gaffer says

The amateur Alan Titchmarch was moaning about the lack of loaming as we go roaming in the gloaming of league life:

"The pitch is terrible, bone dry, there has been no water put on it. Fair play to Grimsby, you have to do whatever you can and try to make it as ugly a game as possible."

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Out everythinged, but not outscored. It was like watching a first round FA Cup game where plucky Evo-Stickers keep it tight, hold their shape and hope something turns up against Rochdale.

Well, let's give credit where it's due for no-one gave up or flinched under fire. The centre-backs and Jamie Mack did their best to hold back the tide of history and everyone else kicked the ball as high and long as quickly as possible.

There really wasn't much to say other than Town, the ref and the post combined to avoid a slapping and prolong the agony of distant drumming. Then Matt Green avoided scoring, but in a different way to Lennie. See, we have options in how to not score now.

We're just waiting for the end now, aren't we.


This worm of Robins are formidable, much more than just a set-piece team. But on a windy day why try and play tippy-tappy triangles when a big juicy throw-in is a skittling slice away?

Blimey, those set pieces, almost undefendable.

You have to say they are unlucky not to have come across Town earlier, for they'd have stuck seven past some of the creations from the Hollow One's deep winter catalogue. As strong and slick as anything we've seen so far this season and probably should go up.

That's how to go up and stay up.

Official warning

Mr A Davies

This raspberry caused a ripple with his pleasing home comforts, for where there was doubt he sided with the defence, as is legally correct. We could have done with him on Friday. Perfectly sensible, only annoying the day trippers' annoying driver: 7.976


Town: McKeown, Hewitt, Waterfall, Menayese, Hendrie, Clifton, Matete, Habergham, John-Lewis (Coke 78) Hanson, Payne (Green 85)

Subs not used: Battersby, Spokes, Williams, Jackson Jnr

Cheltenham Town: Griffiths, Boyle, Tozer, Long, Hussey, Sercombe, Azaz (Wright 70), Chapman (Thomas 70), Blair, May (Lloyd 70), Smith (Williams 70)

Subs not used: Flinders, Raglan, Vassilev