Cod Almighty | Postbag
Truck monsters
2 June 2022
The drummer boy and our urination destinations
Drummers, but not of the Elvin Jones sort
Reading Thursday’s diarist about drummers, I remember taking my sons to a Christmas game about 10 years ago, possibly against Morecambe or some other nondescript team beginning with M. Their drummer in the Osmond stand had ideas above his station as well as his musical dexterity, much to the annoyance of our chaps in the Main Stand (yes, sorry). A chant enquired, "Who's the wanker with drum?" A silence from their 100 or so supporters, and then their response: "Kev’s the wanker with the drum, Kev’s the wanker with the drum."
Christmas was made.
from Malcolm Carson
We piss where
Dear PostBag
I've lived in Spain (well, the Basque Country) for 30 years now, and so I don't get to see Town very often, but the Wrexham game - which almost had me on tranquillisers afterwards - moved me to move my arse and get over to London for the big weekend. I'll be there, but rewinding, for a moment, to the Northampton play-off at the old Wembley, I remember walking a phalanx of Northampton fans who chanted "We piss on your fish/We piss on your fish!" to which the Town fans in my vicinity replied with aplomb, "We piss on your shoes/We piss on your shoes!"
I was impressed by this, not only by the speed of the response but also by the sociological knowledge implicit in this reply. Northampton is indeed famous for its shoe industry, but in La Liga, whose stadia I now inhabit/visit, such chants are improbable. But the Northampton event took place in the Jurassic Period, and I'm sure that the "We piss on..." song - that knowledgeably insults the very basis of a community's identity and history - may sadly have moved on.
In case it hasn't, I wonder what the dozen Solihull fans can expect from us, as we approach West Ham's little house on the prairies? Solihull sounds like a rather posh place. Maybe "We pìss on your middle-class social pretensions!" - but it doesn't quite scan. It lacks punch. Possibly "We piss on your Land Rovers"? I think this car is produced around there. Suggestions welcome, although I fly over to London in the spirit of brotherhood and half-decent banter.
UTM
from Phil Ball