Match stats: Grimsby v Crewe Alexandra

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Tuesday 9 August 2022

League Cup

Grimsby Town 4 Waterfall (13), Green (34), Smith (56), Wearne (86)

Crewe Alexandra 0

Attendance: 2802 (80 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Andy Smith

I think we can see there's nothing else for me to do but report that the corporate schmoozers are faultlessly devoted to you Andy.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Steven Wearne

Yeah, why not, let's spread a little love around the Town. The lad was fine as he glided down the line.

Our gaffer says

Chuffed! The Bard of Blundell Park could hardly contain his excitement at his creation. It's alive. It's alive!

"We can only beat the team in front of us."

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Their gaffer says

It's funny how the colours of the real world only seem really real when you watch them on that big screen down by the fanzone. From over his shoulder in the Dentists Stand little Alex heard angel trumpets and devil trombones and was disappointed with his droopy droogs.

"We fully intend to ensure that our momentum returns to an upwards trajectory."

Tomorrow the moon!

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Slick and strong and played it long when needed. Town simply overpowered and overran dissolute day trippers.

The double full-back trick worked splendidly, crosses were crossed, passes were passed. Green ran all night.

Young Ari? There's something to work with there. The boy needs some guidance on where to stand, but not how to fall.

From an azure sky of deepest summer to a sweeping streak of salmon, the evening was fine and dandy.


What are they gonna say about Little Alex from the Alex, huh? "He was a wise man. He had plans. He had wisdom"? Not on this, Nellie.

Their first-half team was an indolent insult to their travelling support. They barely moved, they barely passed and looked distinctly like Dover on a bad day.

And then they brought on some proper players. None of them could shoot straight, which was nice, but they did have vim, verve and the occasional swerve to befuddle Big Luke.

A professional career for Okwonko? Not now, Arthur. Their Gooner will be a gonner.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

Live those dreams, scheme those schemes, we were totally relaxed.

Official warning

Mr A Herczeg

The wally from the Wrexham miracle match has obviously been on a training course. He's even barmier than before, but with a sharper haircut. If he got a decision right he can only apologise for the inconvenience: 4.123.

Readers' digest

Oh what a night, Town hypnotizing, mesmerising, lovely and bubbly.

In a word: gelling


Town: Crocombe, Efete, Waterfall (Pearson 87), Smith, Amos (Cropper 79), Wearne, Morris, Holohan (Clifton 67), Green (Khouri 67), Glennon, Pepple (Keirnan 79)

Subs not used: Battersby, Braithwaite, Maguire-Drew, Taylor

Booked: Amos

Crewe Alexandra: Okonkwo, Mellor, Offord, MacDonald, Finney (Williams h-t), Griffiths (Agyei 58), Colkett (Uwakwe 51), Tabiner (Sambou h-t), Finney (Ainley 58), Leshabela, Baker-Richardson

Subs not used: Thomas, Brook, Sass-Davies, Booth

Booked: Mellor