Cod Almighty | Article
by Dave Chambers
15 November 2005
I forgot we still had Tony Crane on our books. Easy mistake. Especially as 'absent' is a word easily associated with Crane. Absent minded. Absent without leave on the pitch. And then when he wasn't absent through suspension (so the Grimsby fans' perception has it).
He wasn't the only one though. The sole remnant of the Groves era recruitment drive. One of many idle bodies and minds in that Town team. A team which bypassed average. A team whose remarkable sole ability was to invert back on itself and explode such was its eventual ineptness.
Crane was a prime illustration of that squad's make-up. Promised so much. Promise not delivered. And yet offering infrequent and inconsistent bouts of the possible. He was not alone in that judgement.
It is a perception based on that first season for Town. His only full season for Town. Since then injury. Falling out of favour.
Last season? Once fit he waited. And then started the final two, meaningless games.
This season? Continued to start, only at the expense of the injured Whittle. Hardly shining, and then blew it. By getting sent off. Stupidly. The tedious exercise of playing Morecambe in the LDV Vans? Deserved the postscript of Crane feebly planting his spot-kick wide. I'm not bitter that I travelled from Preston for that game, no.
There are fans who talk of him like a Gazza-like figure. A man-child. A lardon. Wayward. Just needs a fatherly figure. Bless him. Even the harshest of mentalities couldn't wish ill on his enthusiasm.
He's certainly a flawed player. But he wouldn't be at Town otherwise. He's almost cultish, almost enigmatic. Every team needs an enigma. At the least to make things unpredictable, occasionally entertaining. Occasionally entertaining in a mire of the recent expected dire. And we always need at least one of the team. Otherwise we wouldn't be Town.
Memories? One. His immense performance against Sheffield Wednesday. Only immense because he gave a shit. He scored. After the game the fans sang his praises. "He's come good." "How he towered above the opposition." "He gave the team a lift." "A rock at the back." Looking back he could have done it more. 15 yellow cards. 2 red cards. Despite those he still made 40 appearances.
If only he'd given a shit more often, regularly. He was like a schoolkid, mind elsewhere, gazing out of the window, trapped, wanting to be anywhere but in that class. Occasionally his attention was grabbed. Sorry, rarely.
The obituaries for Crane are all ready and already being reeled off by Town fans. (just look at mine above.) A little premature? He's still to find a new club. He's still got a Town contract until next summer. All count for nothing if Glenn Downey makes the bench ahead of you. Maybe we could throw him up front for the last 15 minutes, Slade's own Peter Crouch. Or Mark Lever. Maybe I'm trying to hard to find a use for him. A purpose.
Crane will leave with the past eighteen vacuous months as our abiding memory of him. A shame. He's been a drain. He's been a waste. (Of our money. Of his talent.) A shame. The world still needs the likes Tony Crane. A shame his like wasn't for us.