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2003-04 season index
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Tips for 8-9 November
I don't feel particularly inspired this week. As I sit here, 8 more hours of my life being wasted at a desk, I have no idea what to write this week. Not that I sit down every Friday with a plan of what to say in this column, I'm sure you have all realised that by now. But the general plan of a bit of preamble followed by the tips, laughing at Coco then the Townwatch is proving to be a problem because I don't know what to put in the preamble.
Nothing exciting has happened in my life in the past week you see. I recently got promoted to team leader though, that happened before I went away. Our area was restructured and I was put in charge of three of the team another guy has been put in charge of the remaining three fellas in our area. So there are two team leaders, each with three underlings. In such a situation we felt it was only right that we find out who has the best team. So that is what we are doing.
We are actually staging out own version of Superstars, sort of. It's mostly based down the pub. Events include darts, pool and a round on the local's golf machine, stuff like that. Points will be awarded for the finishing positions and like in Formula 1, our respective teams will sum their points to see who really is the daddy. I have also challenged my fellow team leader to a football match, my team versus his. OK, it's only four-a-side but we could play rush keepers on the pitches we normally use for five-a-side. I'm confident of victory though, I've been playing like a fucking demon in recent weeks. Since I came back from Cyprus I have been a veritable goal machine. OK, I'm not scoring that many but bearing in mind I tend to play at the back in a sweeper-esque role I think the five goals I have scored in the past two games are pretty good. Admittedly one was a slice of my toes from just outside the area that was supposed to be a cross but it crept in the near post with the keeper completely befuddled. That goal followed one that came about as a result of a really good run and finish though so it sort of evens out.
By the way, it was in the papers this week that Sky have shelved There's Something About Miriam until they know the outcome of all the legal action that the participants have started. Bit of a shame, I think it'd be a laugh to watch. There was also a report this week that the Marine commando was told by another contestant that there was something unusual about Miriam and that she could be a he. But the Marine laughed off the warning saying "Nah, they wouldn't do that to us." Wouldn't they?
I suppose we might as well get down to it now, as Prince Charles said to his aide. As a manager now it is my job to play about with spreadsheets. So I shall press the appropriate buttons on mine and see what tips it churns out. I'll also show you what Coco has stuck his pin in this week. Look.
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Mat |
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Coco |
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Liverpool v Man Utd
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(-921)
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11/8
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Portsmouth v Leeds
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4/5
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Arsenal v Tottenham
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(1543)
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4/11
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Bradford v Walsall
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6/4
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Sheffield Utd v Burnley
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(815)
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8/15
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Livingston v Partick Thistle
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8/13
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Sunderland v Coventry
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(651)
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4/7
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Norwich v Millwall
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8/11
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Derby v Ipswich
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(-545)
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6/5
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Liverpool v Man Utd
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15/8
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Cardiff v Stoke
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(423)
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8/13
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Aberdeen v Hearts
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2/1
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Nottm Forest v Watford
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(439)
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4/6
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Nottm Forest v Watford
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7/2
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Celtic v Dunfermline
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(2340)
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1/10
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Hibernian v Dundee utd
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5/6
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Aberdeen v Hearts
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(-446)
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6/5
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Reading v Wigan
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11/5
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Kilmarnock v Rangers
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( -1472)
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2/9
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Crystal Palace v Preston
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6/4
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It's the first round of the FA Cup this weekend so I have only three divisions (Premiership, Division One and SPL) to pick from, hence the shorter than normal list above. To make up for that, and the lousy preamble this week I have decided that I should look in more depth at the tips for this week. Above are the teams my system and Coco's pin think will win, but what do I reckon? Well, I agree with my system on virtually all of it. I must admit though, I reckon Watford might sneak a point at Forest and that Liverpool v Man Utd could possibly be a draw. Other than that though, I think it is bang on, despite the fact that I had to lower my rating cut-off to under 500 in order to get enough teams for the tips.
What about Coco's selections? He's flipped, surely. Bradford to beat Walsall, nah. Hearts should beat Aberdeen comfortably and I can't see Watford taking all three points. And to be honest I can't see Palace winning either. I reckon Coco will get four out of ten this week. I think I'll get six, maybe even seven. Should be an easy victory though.
Now let's have a quick look at how much I am going to beat the chimp by. Here's how we are spending our fivers this weekend.
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Bet type
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Mat
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Stake
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Max return
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Coco
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Stake
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Max return
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Perm 3 from 5
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Man Utd, Sheffield Utd, Ipswich, Nottm Forest & Rangers
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23p
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£12.84 |
Portsmouth, Livingston, Liverpool, Watford & Crystal Palace
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23p
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£38.69
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Perm 3 from 5
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Arsenal, Sunderland, Cardiff, Celtic & Hearts
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27p
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£10.04
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Bradford, Norwich, Aberdeen, Hibernian & Reading/Wigan
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27p
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£38.05
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Potential return:
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£22.88 |
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£76.74
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Coco and I are much closer in terms of returns than we normally are. And as we have already seen, I'm on for an easy victory this week. I think Coco will lose his whole fiver. If get six or seven out of my ten correct then I can't fail to get a decent return. Maybe I will break the trend of recent weeks and make a profit. Wouldn't that be nice?
It's a bit tricky to do a Townwatch this week as the FA Cup isn't covered by my
magic spreadsheet. However, if you've been reading CA carefully you will have
realised by now that I hope we lose this weekend.
I really mean it, I don't want us to win on Saturday. I predict a 2-0 away win
for QPR.
Hurrah,I made it. This was quite hard work this week. I had no creative juices flowing today, no inspiration whatsoever. So sorry if it was a bit crap to read this week. I promise to do better next week. I'll also try and have an interesting week this week so that I have more to talk to you about. Till then I will leave you with my thought for the day. Britney is the sort of girl you would want to take back to meet your mum but you'd rather have mucky sex with Christina. Ta ta.
To see how my tips performed this week compared to Coco's click here
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