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2005-06 season index
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Jonah or Ju-ju?
There are many ways to ensure a football team is as successful as possible: making sure you've got the right players, for a start; playing these players in their favoured positions; choosing a suitable formation for the team.
Training, of course, is important – physical and psychological – to ensure your players are fit and prepared for any given situation. Then there's all that dietary stuff – pasta good, lard bad; booze in moderation, and lay off the fags.
So your players were fit, your tactics spot-on, and you knew the opposition inside out... so why did you lose 5-0? I'll tell you: it's cos some idiot on the turnstiles let Jimmy the Jinx into the ground, when everyone knows he hasn't seen a win since 1981.
Right. We at Cod Almighty want Town to be successful, so what can we do? We're not the manager; we haven't got a coaching badge between us; and we can't control what the players eat. However, we can find out who the Mariners' biggest Jonah is – and if things are looking tight come the end of the season, we can buy them cinema tickets or break their legs to stop them going to games.
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