Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 30 July 2007

30 July 2007

With Mr Normal Diary off gazing at his clouds Deviant Diary returns to spin a web of intrigue and swing a bridge of deception.

Poems, poems laddie! It could have been so beautiful: The ancient bonds are breaking leaving Hull and changing sides. Dreaming of a new day, cast aside the other way, a magic vision stirring. And now our Bridges has been burnt.

Like the lead singer of Roxy Music traversing the scurrilous waters twixt Liverpool and Birkenhead, $K$C's 23rd choice striker had the most fleeting of opportunities to skip gaily across the yawning chasm between Hessle and New Holland. We could but dream that the new boss at the Pooperscooper Stadium ain't the same as the old boss. No harm in trying.

Life goes on day after day, hearts torn in every way as Bridges won't cross the Humber. At least they were polite this time. Is it worth chatting them up again? Does nurr mean nurrr? Or was this all a cheeky bodyswerve by the oldest swinger in town as he eyes up some other gal in some other bar?

From one enigma to another. Never a man to miss a comic opportunity father Miles Moss keeps a keen eye on the SNOS© grammar school and "Buckley admits Bridges interest" has him contemplating a civil engineering course and perhaps identifying the real story. Cod Almighty's very own M&M has his own theory based upon the SNOS© wandering capitalisation policy. "Alan Buckley is very interested in bridges. He's got several books on the subject and over the years has built up quite a selection of slides and photographs. It explains his inability to leave the hallowed turflands of North East Lincolnshire as the Humber bridge is a lovely piece of engineering. It's close enough for him to pop over for a quick look on evenings and Sundays". You read it here first. And last.

As Pat Boone claims it was a beautiful Sunday. The Family Fun Day. There were families and they had fun in the sun and fed ducks and Isaiaaiaiaiah Rankin with a bun.

Let's look beyond the Wolds to the days of whines and poses. It appears that Yeovil's Anthony Tonkin prefers Forest Green to Lincoln Green. How bizarre. What's that got to do with Town? It's the old tetanus link time, for the Tonka boy replaces Kevin Nicholson, one of the 436 who played in that game against Brigg three years ago. The Impies are ageing and raging this summer.

Let's go back further to the future, for tomorrow's bundle of footballing joy an footballing fun is the penultimate pre-season warm up against Grantham, which is tomorrow, the day after today, but also the one a day before three days after yesterday. Now which hip swinging cat in the Grantham boardroom was a big Sammy Davis Jnr fan? They do, indeed, have a Sweet Gingerbread Man. Take your pick from Fireman Stacy or Diddy Dave Gilbert, both of whom took part in last Thursday's friendly defeat by Lincoln. It'll be lovely to bask in those monochrome memories of our seasons in the sun. Do pop down, but remember to turn right off Swingbridge Road.

As the monsoon season ends the answer to an ancient mystery falls, like sunshine, into your laptop. Ever wandered what happened to Graham Rodger, that old sofa we once lent to Hull when they were down and out in Beverley Bills? Old Grezzer didn't quite pull off the coup of coups, for his Ballad of Long Tan was only nominated at Australian Country Music Awards. So that's what that touchline scribbling was all about.

Finally a public wealth warning. My father once told me to be wary of laptop dancing clubs, for they are filled with loose women who loosen your wallet. Now that's the wisdom of the aged.