Cod Almighty | Diary

Grimsby's gonna Grimsby

5 June 2025

Well, well, well, we’ve had a gush of pre-season friendlies announced by the club in the last 24 hours via its official website. First there was Gainsborough, then Rochdale, then admin gave up on the drip-feeding tactic and decided to announce Boston and Peterborough together. So, fill your diaries!

The pre-season kick-about with Dale (the club, not the Mariners’ former media bloke who used to ask players what kind of players they were while breathing heavily into the microphone he bought from Ramsdens in the 1990s) has been described as a ‘clash’, which makes it sound less like a gentle July-time kick-about in Lancashire and more like 1980s organised fisty-cuffs. The fixture, rather than be announced, was ‘confirmed’ yesterday, almost as if the rumours were so weighty and substantial that the club’s admin felt they just had to put the record straight.

I like a trip to Spotland, even though your West Yorkshire Diary has never actually seen us win there. We came very close to winning in 2005-6 but conceded direct from a Ricky Lambert corner in the last minute of the game (and then followed the Lincoln walloping). I was there the season before when the match got called off at half time on New Year’s Day 2005. I made the rearranged game, to which I invited Mrs West Yorkshire Diary on a sort of weird third date. I don’t know much about women, but I do know they love Tuesday night football, freezing temperatures, sleet, a red card and a 2-0 defeat. Hey, she married me, so make of that what you will.

We were very good on our travels last season, but can we do it on a sultry Tuesday night in Gainsborough? That’s the question. They finished seventh ‘in their division’ last season, as the official site puts it (energised enough to find their finishing position, but not the name of the league) and so all that’s left is for the club to arrange further friendlies at Grantham Town and Garforth Town to complete the holy GTFC trinity.

If we can’t have Obikwu then we’ll have Amaluzor. Town’s insistence on having a Justin in the squad means they probably had to override the Jamestown data on this one. Such a name evokes memories of playing C64 racing games where competitors boasted such names as Wilma Cargo, Percy Veer, Willy Swerve and the classic Miles Behind. They were trying too hard with Hugh Jengine, but, as people over a certain age like to say, they don’t make them like they used to!

Right, we’ve done the newsy bit, now for some unsubstantiated rumours. The new kit may or may not have double Wembley 1998 vibes. Richie Smallwood hasn’t been offered a new contract at Bradford, which surprised my Bantam-supporting friend “given what happened when he was missing for four games, in which we conceded about a third of our goals last season”. Is he Cleethorpes-bound? By Cleethorpes I mean Grimsby Town and not Cleethorpes Town. This is the problem with Cleethorpes Town being any good. Such clarity was not necessary just a few short years ago.

Right, that’s enough waffle for a Thursday. Remember, the early bird catches the worm — or a discount on season tickets. But the worm disappears after tomorrow, so if you’re thinking of renewing, you’ve got one more day before the price bumps up.

UTM!