Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 27 June 2006

27 June 2006

Q: What's the difference between John McDermott and Top of the Pops? A: One stopped being any good a long time ago, if it ever was, and the people in charge are quite right to have got rid of it at last, and the other is Top of the Pops. Oops, I mean John McDermott! Heh! Macca, of course, is still good despite being very old, and having seemingly changed his mind about retiring last season the patron saint of Grimsby has now been offered a new contract to remain at Blundell Park for a record-extending 20th or 21st season or whatever it is. The club's official website reports that the terms on the table are "substantially improved", but quite understandably fails to mention that Macca was on knack all last season and only signed up at all a year ago because of the promise of the 'benefit match' against Hull last October. The other difference is that Status Quo didn't appear on John McDermott 87 times, but that doesn't concern us here.

After the acquisition yesterday of Isaiah 'Don't Mess Around Because He Loves The Town And This I Know Fo Sho' Rankin, recently appointed GTFC boss Grahams Rodgers is now hoping to add a goalkeeper to the ranks. According to the OS, La Rodge's target is "an unnamed Championship goalkeeper", and in a Mariners World interview the manager says he is "working me socks off" to bring in new players. Let's hope My Sweet Lord is replaced sooner rather than later, then, because we know what happens when you leave it to the last minute to sign a keeper and take one on trial and they play really badly against Brigg Town but there are no other options left so you have to sign them anyway, don't we, eh?

You don't know what you've got until it's gone - especially when what you've got are an alleged criminal and a proven student of criminology. Recently departed centre-half Rob Jones, according to the Scotsman newspaper, spent the final year of his Mariners career working towards a degree in crime and disorder, while alleged former footballer Curtis Woodhouse is reported by the redoubtable Driffield Today to be facing charges of assaulting a police constable. The alleged incident allegedly occurred in Bridlington on 30 April (the day after Town's season-squandering failure to play football at Macclesfield) and Mr Woodhouse is alleged to have appeared in court wearing a black suit and yellow tie. Sceptical Grimsby fans always suspected the Eye of the Tahger's footballing inclinations to have remained towards the north bank of the Humber, and now Curt seems to have shown his true colours. Did you see what I did there?

And finally today, lots of managers are trying to sign Junior Mendes. One of them is the new Notts County boss Steve Thompson - who apparently likes shooting people, though the Diary is uncertain as to the relevance of this detail - while another is the new Yeovil Town boss Mr Russell Slades, who you'd think would know better. Not seemingly among them, you may be interested to learn, is Grahams Rodgers. Relieved? Thought so. Now all he needs is to sign up Marc Goodfellow instead.