Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 8 June 2006
8 June 2006
Rob Jones may have been justified in getting pissed off when Fen Butcher signed for the Mariners on twice the money the Stick was receiving, but rather than give the club that saved his career a chance to put things right with an extended contract, Town's player of the season has joined the exciting battle for fourth place in the Scottish Premier League. Neither the player nor his new club Hibernian have yet confirmed the news, but in keeping with agents' sense of their own importance the move has been announced by Jones's Mr 15% Kevin Smith, who clearly never wanted his client to remain at Blundell Park for ten seconds longer than was strictly necessary, and is now battling gamely to convince the world that the transfer was all about the wonderful management style of Easter Road boss Tony Mowbray. "Tony has done a fantastic job so far in his time at Hibs and Rob was attracted by that," announces Smith, not quite adding: "rather than the chance to double his salary, and it's neither here nor there that I'll also be doubling the slice of fans' ticket money I'm taking out of the game for doing little more than make a few phone calls." I'm sure all right-thinking Town fans will join with the Diary in fondly wishing Jones the Stick every success in his career at Hibs, and not in any way hoping the team concedes eight goals a game and finishes bottom of that laughable travesty they call a league.
Ireland? The Isle of Man? Ibiza? If you're planning your holidays around Town's programme of pre-season friendlies, pack your suntan lotion and book yourself a cheap flight to Humberston Fitties, as the first fixture of the summer has been announced, and third division Rotherham are on their way to Meggies for an evening kick-off on Monday 24 July. The Millers, of course, played a similar fixture at Blundell Park in the build-up to the 2005-06 season, and if the rest of South Yorkshire can spend a day out in Cleethorpes every summer there is no reason why Rotherham United should be any different.
Returning to the issue of the Mariners' new manager, and more precisely the correct rendition of his name, two of you have been moved to compose email-style communications and fling them gaily this way. Durham Diary suggests an addition to the Cod Almighty range of quality fashionwear, asking: "What chance of a 'He's not bloody called Rodgers' T-shirt? I would wear it." Nice idea, DD, but we'd like the new manager to remain in place for more than a week. The departure of Rodgerses's predecessor, you see, was announced just as the CA team was obtaining quotes to produce a Russell Slade eggcup.
Our second item of correspondence is from Mike Harrison, who muses: "All this talk about Rodgers and Rodger reminds me of the (cough, wheeze) good old days of popular music, when virtually everyone called the sainted Sir Cliff by the moniker 'Richards'. I think Richard was chosen (as opposed to Webb) as a publicity gimmick in the hope that people would deliberately mispronounce it. This made me wonder whether Mr Rodger is really Mr Rodgers but is hoping to become better known by using the same gimmick? I understand also that his assistant may be a Mr Hammerstein." Thanks, Mike - you've just wiped out the Diary's future store of Rodgers gags at a stroke.
That being the case, it's probably a good job I won't be writing the Diary for the next 10 days. What? Yes! Keep emailing diary@codalmighty.com though, and your musings will reach my replacements: tomorrow you will be transported with delight by the guest diarising of Guest Diary, and CA's bench of substitute diaries will be made full Sven-like use of for the whole of next week, as I will be suspended in a small velcro pouch 238 feet above the Appalachian mountains. See you on the 19th.