Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 24 July 2007
24 July 2007
A decade and a half after it was set up with the express purpose of taking money away from the Football League, corrupt and deeply unattractive sporting cartel the Premiership has attempted to spring-clean its conscience by offering a few quid back. England's top division is set to rake in a frankly absurd £2.7bn in media rights payments over the next three years, and who, really, is a gormless enough fuckwit to believe that we should be throwing street parties to celebrate the news that Town will receive around £23,000 a season from the top table as a result of this laughably designated "solidarity payment"? Why, Sir Brian Mawhinney, that's who - the man who believes the fans want draws 'settled' by penalty shoot-outs despite polls suggesting that 90 per cent do not. Any self-respecting chairman of the Football League who is vaguely worthy of the title would clearly advise the Premiership to stick their solidarity payment up their arse sideways; but that is not, of course, a description that applies to our Bri. "We are very grateful. It was a generous gesture by the Premier League," simpered Mawhinney, pausing for breath while fellating Roman Abramovich.
Town are roughly halfway through their pre-season and Mariners World has caught up with Lord Alan Buckley to ask for his observations so far. "To pass comment on the Gainsborough game would be difficult to do without swearing," he observes, clearly not happy with every aspect of his players' preparation at this point, but for every negatively charged particle there is an equal and opposite reaction, and the Town boss stoutly talks up the quality of his side's approach play at Farsley Celtic last Saturday. Isaiah Rankin, who is searching frantically for a last chance saloon that serves low-calorie beer, earns an approving mention, and Buckley reveals that he is still keeping open the options of 4-4-2 and 4-5-1 formations as MW intercuts him with footage of various children and people in suits and mayoral bling taking part in team photographs with an incongruous soundtrack of a single electric guitar chord over a simple, up-tempo snare-led drum figure.
On the issue of formations, the Mariners look set to field a 4-4-2 system at home to King$ton Communication$ FC tonight as midfield Yorkshireman Paul Bolland will miss out with an injury sustained at Farsley. Five other players are doubtful but may or may not be OK for tonight, reports the club's official website without making any mistakes, actually. As for the season ahead, the only thing that can be said for certain about Town's formation is that any use of a 4-5-1 system is sure to be met on the messageboards with accusations of negativity, despite Buckley having pointed out some time ago that this was precisely the tactic that brought about his side's course-of-history-altering 6-0 win at Boston. Still, that was back in February, so it can't possibly mean anything.