Cod Almighty | Diary

Give me my pie back, you fanny

9 October 2025

Jamie Walker’s hit against Cheltenham (the first one) was an absolute banger. I’m not sure many players are encouraged to shoot from that sort of distance as, invariably, there will be other (possibly better) options available in that part of the pitch, at that stage of the game.

Now, if you move the point at which Walker struck the ball a few yards wider and a few yards further out, you’ll find an area of the pitch known as the Jevons Zone — for this is where Phil Jevons, 24 years ago today, also struck a ball that arrowed into a similar part of the net. That one, of course, came in the last minute of extra time, at Anfield, in the League Cup, and he did it because he was absolutely knackered and thought that even a wayward shot from that distance would’ve eaten up some valuable seconds and help us edge closer to taking the mighty Liverpool to spot kicks.

That it wasn’t wayward, and that the ball sailed over the outstretched hand of the crestfallen Kirkland and caressed the back of the net, meant it gifted us a moment we can hold onto and take with us, wherever we go, for the rest of our lives. That it came against Liverpool — their first team, with all their internationals — meant the goal, the victory, the moment, mattered, and will always be remembered.

Yesterday’s BOTB diary really did live up to their name by plumbing the depths of the Grimsby Town barrel and found the irrelevant elephant residing at the bottom of it. And do you know what? Your West Yorkshire diary is going to dwell on it for just a little bit longer — because, following some digging last night, based on a hunch, I was delighted to discover that the Mariners are treating the tinpot trophy with the complete disdain it deserves by losing all but four of our twenty-six matches in the competition since the suits, in their wisdom, and in their unabashed greed, opened it up to B teams.

Twenty-six times our club has had to find the resource and the resolve to bother going out there to fulfil a fixture that means nothing to any fan. I hope I never hear our educated head coach say anything nice about it. I wouldn’t even argue that it’s a good run-out for our reserves. To claim Tuesday night’s meaningless kick-about was useful in any way, to anyone, would partially legitimise it. It is a waste of time and a waste of space, and if any of our fringe players need ‘minutes’ then they’d be better off playing a behind-closed-doors friendly.

Next month we’ll be forced to play Everton’s B team. This, despite the fact that when we last played their first team, we won. Despite the fact that when we last played Spurs' first team, we won. Despite the fact that when we last played Manchester United's first team, we won. Despite the fact that when we last played Liverpool's first team, we won.

Grimsby has existed for 147 years. In that time, we’ve gone toe to toe with the best. We don’t need to prove anything to anyone. We, and all the clubs around us, deserve more respect. You’d think we’d have earned it by now, but while greed is allowed to grow unabated we, the fans, need to be more vigilant and more vocal than ever to fight back against this tidal wave of immoral governance.

But, not to leave this on a bleak note, let’s now look forward to a weekend in which a match will at least take place, against perceived equals, in our town, our community, that will matter very much to us.

UTM!