Cod Almighty | Diary

Lies are just facts that haven't happened yet

23 October 2025

I must admit, I was a tad surprised to see Gillingham got their first red card from last weekend overturned. I wasn’t at the game, so I was listening online instead. Commentating was John ‘half away’ Tondeur, a voice that will always be welcomed back — even if it comes with a health warning and an unerring sense of dread, foreboding and peril whenever play heads in the general direction of Town’s goal. JT immediately called it a red card, while Crofty wasn’t so sure. Having seen the replay, I thought it was a touch harsh, perhaps, but it remained well within the boundaries of umpire’s call.

However, the FA believed it to be a clear and obvious error by referee Zac Kennard-Kettle and here we are. “If you want us to review that red card incident,” they should’ve said, “we’ll also have to review Max Clark smashing George McEachran in the face with his forearm. So then, how do you want us to proceed?” I wonder what they’d have done.

Now, the thing is, your West Yorkshire Diary can reel off many occasions when Town have been reduced to nine men. I’m spoilt for choice. Let’s start at Darlington, in the early 90s, when Tony Rees and Tommy Watson decided to fight each other. A couple of years later, David Ellery went card crazy in a game at Notts County and booked just about any Town player who took to the field, then sent both Rodger then Wilmot from it later in the game.

After that, my mind goes blank. Maybe it didn’t happen for a good while. Perhaps I’m missing other double dismissals. If so, get in touch to fill my void!

So then, we come to the turn of the century (or the new millennium if you prefer) and we had both Georges Santos and Paul Raven sent off in a home match against Rotherham — a game that, remarkably, we managed to draw 0-0 despite being two players short for most of the second half. My research tells me that Paul Hurst played in that match. The Robins kept their shape a bit too much that day, perhaps.

Then enter Carl Boyeson. Hull hath no fury like a ref scorned! In his north bank wisdom, in a League Cup game at Doncaster’s Belle Vue, he chose to send off Des Hamilton for having the temerity to dodge a career-ending tackle, refused to send a Donny player off when he quite literally rugby-tackling Michael Boulding on the goal line, and then sent off Marcel Cas for not being the last man.

Two years later came the sequel no one wanted, Hell Ref II: Boyeson with a Vengeance. If anyone should’ve been seeking vengeance, then it was Town. Yet, due to political correctness (or even wokeness, despite it not even being a thing then), we weren’t allowed to exact revenge and, unbelievably, Carl was. For what? We’ll never know. Being from Hull remains my only conclusion. In a home match against Darlington (them again), in the first Slade era, Boyeson sent off Tom Newey and Tony Crane. Fair enough, I suppose. But still — two Town games officiated, four red cards. Job done.

Then there’s a game surely no one remembers, apart from me — losing to Aldershot at home, in the late Newell era, when both Proudlock and Conlon got their marching orders during a scuffle in injury time.

Who can forget Sam Hatton’s last, brainless contribution to our club in the play-off second leg at Gateshead in 13/14? That followed Scott Neilson’s red card for stepping within a two-mile radius of Craig Baxter, who crumpled like the soft northern git he is. Oh, I know how to hold a grudge, let me assure you.

Talking of brainless, were you at Yeovil during the Slade II reign when Mitch Rose got sent off dead early, then Karleigh Osborne followed suit an hour later in a dismal 3-0 defeat? Down to nine men, awful night… perfect time to hand a debut to your highly rated young midfielder. On you go, Harry. Enjoy not getting a touch of the ball!

And yet, I struggle to recall the days when Town have been the beneficiaries of two red cards. Off the top of my head, there’s Gillingham from five days ago. Oh! And Cheltenham before that. Ha! Apart from those, though… when did it last happen in our favour? Our non-League days are feeling more and more like a bad dream, rather than them ever actually occurring, so maybe there’s an instance hidden in there that I've overlooked.

I do remember, however, Blackburn going down to nine men when we went there in a league game under Buckley, and just a couple of months later Jon-Olav Hjelde and Dave Beasant were sent off for Forest in our 4-3 win over them at Blundell Park (I seem to recall them scoring against us while down to nine men, right at the death).

Tracing my steps back further, there was a game against Palace at home when they had two men sent off, in what must have been the 98/99 season. And a few years before that, Charlton received a pair of reds at Blundell Park when Town were battling to stay in the second division.

It’s Thursday. There is no Town news (as you can tell). All that’s left to do is to get excited about our game at Crewe this Saturday, and then we’ll start thinking about Brentford. UTM!