Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 24 October 2003
24 October 2003
Good afternoon people. Mark Stilton here, bringing you a slice of diary in a Cod Almighty branded wrapper.
There's been goings on today at Parc de Blundell with a signing and a non-signing. "Ooh, who will it be," said the OS, "sign up for our SMS and online dating service to find the latest on Daws and Iffy as soon as it happens." Meanwhile, the Rotherham OS was telling us that Daws had returned because no agreement could be made on wages between the two clubs. Whoops.
So, Iffy has signed for the rest of the season, and if he plays like he did against Notts County then that'll make me happy. And with Daws leaving I think we can assume that Campbell will play in the centre and Cas will return to the right. Which reminds me of a message I saw on a Barnsley messageboard where a Barnsley fan was saying that Gallimore was a good left-back except against players with pace. Mr Gallimore, meet Mr C... oh, you missed him.
There may well be more Town news but it isn't on the OS yet and the GET site still has yesterday's news. I can't wait around for them to get it sorted - it's Friday, I have a pub to go to.
Barnsley have got some players or other who may be fit. Who really cares? I think Galli will probably be playing, that'll be a laugh, eh? Handyside may well be injured. Have you seen that laughable report on the Barnsley OS about how they were apparently all over us at Oakwell last time we played there? Excuse me, but I seem to remember a certain Mr Donovan getting ripped apart by Ben Chapman that day. Er, sorry about that...
Peter Risdale is set to take control of the world, er Barnsley FC, today. This means, or so I was told on Tuesday at Donny station by a drunken 16-year-old Barnsley fan, that all their players will be playing for contracts, right. And coz they're, right, playing for contracts, they're gonna stuff us four or five nil, right, because they're all playing for contracts, right, because Risdale is taking control, and they're all playing for contracts, four or five, maybe six nil, easily, and they'll be all like "yeeeaaahhh" coz like they'll be out of administration and they'll stick five past us and we'll be like "uuuuuhh" coz they'll be playing for contracts and we've picked a bad time, it's unlucky for us coz we'll, right, probably lose about 12-0 because, right, they're all playing for contracts. My arguments of 'Tony Gallimore' and 'Peter Risdale' were lost on him.
I think the Refwatch comes about now. I'll not pretend to talk to myself again. So, our referee for the match at Oakwell is 'smiley' Alan Wiley of Burntwood, Staffordshire. Smiley Al has mostly been refereeing in the Premier League for the last four or five seasons, but he occasionally officiates in a lower league game to 'keep it real'. He has issued 33 yellow and no red cards in eight games this season and gave out 99 yellow and five reds in 35 games last season. The last time he took charge of a Town match was way back in November 1998 when he booked Handyside and Widdrington (shudder) in a 1-0 defeat at Bury. Fact fans may remember that he was also the man in the middle for the LDV Northern Section Final Second Leg match against Burnley. Thanks for that Mark... oh, I said I wouldn't do that, didn't I?
Anyway, the other thing happening on Saturday, of course, is the draw for the FA Cup First Round. This will take place not long after the final whistle and I'm told that Town are ball number 17. Personally, I hope we get knocked out of this mickey mouse competition early so we don't have to play the likes of Man Utd and Arsenal in the third round. It's embarrassing having to go to their two-bit plastic arenas to watch a bunch of jumped-up tarts fall all over the place. "Oops, sorry Ruud, I accidently bumped in to you." Christ, if you do that at primary school, you get called 'immo'.
A quick scan of the Diary's postbag finds an email from John Arrand. John says: "If Cas is our Gronkjaer then I would suggest Daws is our Makelele. However, I didn't watch the game, so if Makelele did lots of feints and stepovers and looked really unfit then Hamilton would be our Makelele." Fair point John. I didn't see the game either, so I can't help you there.
So to Oakwell we go. Well, you go. I'm off to Rome to look at very, very old buildings. But having been to Barnsley a few times I'm sure you'll enjoy your day out. However (are you watching Di-ary), if you see a young Barnsley fan with bad facial hair who stinks of booze, run for your life. Really, you don't need it on a cold Tuesday night in Doncaster do you?
Ta-ta then. I haven't a clue in the slightest who, if anyone, will do the diary tomorrow. If there isn't one, you know why. The normal Diary will resume his iconoclastic scribblings on Monday.