Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 25 February 2009

25 February 2009

Mardy Diary writes: I really don't feel like writing the Diary today. I was really angry for a while last night, but 'Fraser Digby's Washbag' to the tune of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' put a smile back on my face. I'm not sure how this Diary is going to go right now: it may explode in rage or die in despair. Just bear with me while I go through this very public catharsis.

So what do we know? I really haven't looked at any news items, and I don't intend to. Sorry. I can't bear it. I'll end up visiting a messageboard and then I'll have no choice other than to either kill someone or kill myself. I did hear Newell on Radio Humbs after the match. He said the word 'idiots' a lot. It was quite funny in a need-to-laugh-or-else-you'll-cry sort of way. Does anyone know what to do or say? What about you Tom Newey? What do you have to say? You don't want to go on loan to Lincoln because you won't do yourself justice, but you're happy to continue to not do yourself justice for Grimsby? Eh? What have you got to say for yourself? If you can use the medium of email without mashing the keyboard with your mong-like head, why don't you drop us a line and explain, exactly, what is the point of you? What is your purpose? The reason for your existence - what is it? Why, Tom, why? Be succinct, but know that if we're not happy with your response you will be put down, like a mangy dog.

What else do we know? Peter Bore. Mr Masculine. He's so fucking heterosexual. He wouldn't come on the pitch and say, flounce about like a big FUCKING FAIRY. Have you started running yet, Bore? That's all you had to do. All you needed to do was run about like a fucking idiot for 30 minutes, constantly chasing the ball, getting at their defenders. That's all you needed to do. What did you do? You stood around like a fucking idiot. For God's sake, child - you've got ability, we can see that. You've just been given another long contract. Do you realise how fucking lucky you are? Do you realise how many young lads from Grimsby end up in shit jobs with shit pay? For fuck's sake, where are you going? What do you think is going to happen, automatically, with little effort from yourself? Put your fucking back into it, child. You frustrate me.

Anything else? Barnes. Can you come off your line, just once? Just move. Communicate with your defenders. You looked like a wet-pantied little flower last night. Where is your spine, man? I have stood up for you long enough - the confidence thing doesn't wash with me any more. We are ALL low on confidence right now. If you don't have the balls for the fight, if you don't want to be here any more, at least put your hands up and say so. I am tired, dog tired, of watching you run about like a lost child as the ball floats over your head again and again. We may as well have a piece of lard in goal - it would probably block as many shots.

I could go on. I'm not really one for publicly slating players, or even having a go at them during the match - but every person has a line that can be crossed. Mine has been crossed. I'm fed up with this. I will still go until the day the club dies - I will be there, because I have no interest in football in general. I'm not interested in staying at home and watching some rich club on the telly. It interests me as much as rugby. I'm only interested in watching and supporting Town. And I know for every good year we tend to have about ten shit years - but really, Town, this is testing even my patience. And I am very patient. Very, very patient. Let us at least see some fight. There are signs of it. Ryan Bennett - age is nothing - you're a man amongst children. In the dying moments of the match last night I swear that lad was trying to play in every position on the pitch at once. He wants it. Jarman, good lad. Good shot. Unlucky. Kept going and going and going. But they cannot do it alone. Not these young lads - despite the fact they are both excellent footballers. They have skill, commitment, bravery, desire. These young lads. Why is it lacking everywhere else? And not just this season. Last season. And the season before... and a long way back. Players have off-days, but not off-seasons, or multiple off-seasons for Christ's sake Newey.

I applaud the patience of the Town fans who turned up last night. They stayed behind the team for as long as they could. We're down to our hardcore all-weather support now. And I don't expect the numbers will increase any time soon. We are sailing close to the wind, my friends.

And I'm going to end on the subject of fans. Scunthorpe fans to be precise. I don't want to get into this 'my club is bigger than your club' bullshit rivalry. I have no interest in this. Every team that plays Town is a rival team to me. But really, Scunthorpe fans, come on! I know radio phone-ins only give a sample of support for a club, and like messageboards it's usually the most moany fans that you hear, but. Come. On. That was pathetic last night. Really pathetic. Oh, suddenly you're all Wolves-like in your disdain for such an insignificant cup as the JPT? You're a good team, doing well, with a decent manager, some good players playing attractive football. With bugger all money, and little support. You're a fucking inspiration to all other clubs of our size and stature - punching above your weight, playing the game properly. But now that's not good enough? You're in and around the play-offs to get you back to the Championship and you want to sack your manager? Where is that going to get you exactly? I'll tell you: exactly back from where you came. Do you not realise? To have a 'life-long Scunthorpe fan' phone up and complain at a lack of ambition and that the manager is no good? Eh? How long have you been alive - three fucking years? Even a five-year-old will remember when you were shit. What is wrong with you people? Really. I fucking despair of you more than I despair of Tom Newey, and that is a fucking lot of despair, I can tell you. Just have a bit of a think will you, before it's too late.

Hmmm. I still don't feel any better.