Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 22 April 2009
22 April 2009
There's no knowing yet whether the Myspace Mariners who lifted the Youth Alliance Cup last night will go on to successful careers in professional football, but they've already given the Grimsby Telegraph its best headline in living memory. Fighting back from behind on the home turf of their opponents - who represented, let us not forget, the richest club in the world - with goals from Kiel (is it meant to be spelt like that?) Thompson and goal machine Danny Freeman, Neil Woods' callow side appears to have turned in a truly heroic performance - and, going by his photo on the Telegraph site, man of the match Josh Fuller has rock star hair that will be every bit the envy of Barry Conlon.
News of another Mariners cup win today is equally impressive: former GTFC forward Gary Lund has scooped a string of prizes in the prestigious Estate & Letting Agent Awards 2009. Can you scoop a string? If you can, that's exactly what Lundy has done. Are you watching, Gary Croft?
Time for a couple of jokes now, Diary readers. What's the difference between Alan Shearer and Newcastle United? Alan Shearer will be on Match of the Day next season. And what's the only thing worse than being dragged into a ridiculous folly of a new stadium by a vainglorious criminal chairman and sent spiralling into administration as a result? Why, being dragged into a ridiculous folly of a new stadium by a vainglorious criminal chairman, sent spiralling into administration as a result and then being linked with a takeover by Stephen Vaughan, of course! As if Chester and Roll Over Darlington didn't already have enough on their respective plates just now, the shady Deviants chairman has been forced to deny rumours that he's about to jump ship for the comparatively untroubled environment of the New George Reynolds Northern 96.4 Darlington XFM Echo Williamson Balfour Motors Webnet Arena. Does this really need a punchline?
As the Diary continues to look forward to Town's potentially fateful trip to Bournemouth this Saturday by sort of pretending it's not really happening, Diary reader and one-time Mariners World heartthrob Richard Lord has found a chucklesome anecdote from the Wikipedia page of Town's current goalkeeper: "On New Years Day 2007, Bournemouth beat Brighton & Hove Albion 1-0 with an amusing goal from Brett Pitman in the 90th minute. As the Brighton goalkeeper Wayne Henderson controlled the ball just to the left of his six-yard box he took a step back to clear the ball as Pitman chased the ball down. Unfortunately for Henderson, he slipped on the floor, Pitman got the loose ball, took it around two defenders and smashed it into the back of the net at the North Stand end." Thanks, Richard - and we shouldn't be scared why? "The chances of that happening again to the same keeper against the same opposition at the same crucial time of the game must be astronomical. With Henderson between the sticks we've conceded on average less than a goal a game, so despite previous form I'm quietly confident that he won't fall on his arse at an inappropriate time and an inappropriate location on Saturday." And if he does, we'll all know who to blame.