Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 7 April 2009

7 April 2009

Those foreign people - they're a funny lot, aren't they? And gay people. Gay people are funny. Climate change? Don't make me laugh. It was snowing the other week! The Diary, in case you're wondering, is adopting a persona in this paragraph because we're talking about road vehicles and I know from watching Top Gear on the telly that talking about road vehicles means you have to rant like an ill-informed right-wing dickhead. First up, as of yesterday afternoon all the free seats had been taken on eight of the ten coaches Town are laying on to take fans to next Monday's game at Notts County. The deadline has now passed for season ticket holders to claim places, and the remainder can now be taken by fans with ticket stubs from the Aldershot and Accrington games, which nobody knew at the time they might need to keep so they'll all be thrown away. Also, taking a particularly successful leaf out of Andy Townsend's hit book, GTFC have strengthened their bid for survival in the Football League with a big truck. Nobody seems too clear what purpose it will serve, really, but there's nothing about football that can't be improved by the addition of a 26-tonne lorry. Scottish people, Polish people, women drivers, tax, for crying out loud, oooh I'm dead macho me, grrr.

"On-loan Grimsby striker Barry Conlon insists his side will be gunning for three points in Saturday's clash with League Two rivals Accrington," reports the indispensable Teamtalk website, which ought to clarify the issue for the thousands of fans who believed the Mariners would be going all-out to lose the game this weekend. Thanks, Teamtalk!

Speaking of Barry Conlon, the Irish rock monster's arrival has been a bit of rum luck for Adam Proudlock. No sooner had the Proudster hit full fitness and recorded a sumptuous hat-trick against Lincoln than Conlon revved into town on a Harley Davidson and started knocking in a goal a game. The Diary has no doubt that the big-boned ex-Darlington forward will play a big part in Town's satisfying ninth-place finish in next season's fourth division, but for now, of course, the starting XI is all about survival. Any old how, Proudlock and his fellow unlucky forward Adrian Forbes will line up tonight in a suddenly quite experienced Mariners reserve team travelling away to plucky minnows Scunthorpe United. Matt Heywood, Jamie Clarke, Danny Boshell and Nathan Jarman are among other first team types in the side, alongside former hot prospects Straight Peter Bore and Big Danny North.

Oooh look - Accrington want to win as well. This is crazy talk!