Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 24 September 2009

24 September 2009

Into the deathly hallows of a footballing Thursday we meander. Nothing ever happens on a Thursday in the world of the grim. Nothing. Ever.

This is Deviant Diary, you are my world.

Nothing?

It was the evening of the day, a couple of dozen sat and watched the reserves play. A team with more lopsided attacking intent than a New Romantic's fringe lost 4-2 to Rotterdam, Hamsterdam, no, Rotherham's mighty reserves of steel. Beery Conlon and Lairy-Leary, if you want to know who the secret scorers were. Note this down; you'll need to know this when you go on Mastermind. Guyanan midfield player Shawn Bevaney became Town's one millionth failed trialist this century. In the understated words of that paragon of journalistic virtue: "He was substituted at half time and is unlikely to be asked back." Yes, we're officially calling the GET a paragon.

Of greater import is the imported keeper from the Scun of Thorpe. Gasp! "Lillis set for recall?" ponders the SNOS. "Josh stays at Town," finger-wags the online GET, helpfully setting out some facts rather than spreading panic through emotional internet rumour-mongering based on nothing but knee-jerking to the soundtrack of Matt Dean and Dave 'Burnsy' Burns. So Scunthorpe's keeper, right, got injured, right, so they'll get Lillis back, right, so Town won't have a keeper, right? Wrong. Town have Lillis for 28 days with no recall button available. Anyway, Old Nick, the mystery man, says he's OK now. What are you worried about?

While we've still got time, let's all laugh at those County Piemen. Trophy wife Sol Campbell walked out on their wedding night as he didn't like the disco. 'Agadoo' isn't his scene, and he don't like Star Wars. While we're on the Piescene, it's all built on greed and lies. They even take the money from dead men's eyes. Is that what they call "ambishun"?

Let's end on a high. The under-9s won 11-3!