Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 22 March 2012

22 March 2012

It's Thursday again, as it often is before Friday. With no court cases this week Cheapside is trembling with testosterone and your Deviant Diary is not tempted by a Toblerone. Nuts. Don't like 'em.

With taxes slashed for the rich, local refrigeration magnate and building boy Councillor John Fenty (top rate tax), has been incentivised by Gorgeous Gideon to employ yet more people. The Oligarch of the Osmond, the Plutocrat of the Pontoon has waved his magic wand on emergency loan except-when-it-isn't or-if-you're-a-really big-club deadline day.

Who shall emerge from the behind the curtains? Has he travelled very far? Close your eyes. One, two, three... wahey!

As far as the eye can see it's... Mr Andrew (not Andy) Wright. Without the power of the Church to drive Town towards seventh place, the all-important bloke-standing-next-to-Disley role is to be filled with a locally sourced defensive midfielder. He was any good last time, wasn't he. Stop carping, he was. Don't worry your poor little head - as long as Big John doesn't move house, he can afford it.

So how does it feel to be one of the beautiful people in Reckless John's whole wide world of sport? He's recycling his loans into loans.

While Town tinker with the dog days of this season, this Saturday's swingers, the Mad Hatters, have signed Hinckley's hot squash-faced striker Andre Gray. So that rules him out from being Town's replacement for Liam Hearn.

But don't worry, be happy, you can sleep safely now. The local dog problems will end now that Grimsby has its truncheon back.