Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 24 May 2012

24 May 2012

Miss Guest Diary writes: Being in the privileged position of no longer having to work for a living, I have quite a lot of free time. In that spirit, I watched this so you don't have to. What is it? It's a film on the SNOS of a tractor spreading seed at Blundell Park to some backing music that sounds like something my partner knocked up a few years ago on Dance eJay. His opus was called Spatial Awareness Jobling; this must surely be Tractor Trance. And you thought we at Cod Almighty towers have been scraping the news barrel in recent days.

When I saw a Tweet yesterday evening about an exclusive Liam Hearn story, I allowed myself to fantasise for a few seconds about the Telegraph 'doing a News of the World' and listening into voicemails about secret deals with Notts County or Peterborough. But, in reality, I knew it would be exactly what it is: a cosy story about how much Liam likes being at Town and how he isn't looking for a move. But, if you want to do some reading between the lines, he doesn't say he wouldn't leave if another club came looking for him. In fact, he teases us a little by talking about how flattered he was by alleged Championship interest in January and how "chances like that don't come around very often...".

Considering myself to be a film buff, I couldn't let this thing about who'd play Shouty'n'Shorty in a movie go by without adding my two penn'orth. I have delved further back into the oeuvre of Martin Scorsese than Deviant Diary did on Monday and come up with Mean Streets. Here we have Robert De Niro as the loose cannon who cannot control his temper or his mouth and Harvey Keitel as the cool-headed friend who tries to keep him in check. It all ends badly, of course, in a shoot-out with some rival mobsters.

Don't worry, all this film nonsense will end next week with the return of your original Diarist. It is well know he has only seen about three films, and one of those was Donnie Darko. I defy even him to link a film about a demonic rabbit and a hole in the time-space continuum to events at Blundell Park.