Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 20 August 2012

20 August 2012

Miss Guest Diary writes: "The unbelievable truth is that just as half time arrived Town had a shot after passing the ball to each other. You could almost, at that moment, think that Town were a team of professional footballers." And you, dear readers, could be forgiven for thinking that extract came from Tony Butcher's report of Saturday's dismal showing against Nuneaton. Actually it came from his report of the 3-0 defeat at Barnet in October 2009. That was the last time I was at a match when I could not be bothered to watch the second half. At Barnet I simply continued reading the book I had opened at half-time. At the weekend I watched the excellent aerobatic display over the Osmond Stand and then distracted myself by following Nottinghamshire's run chase against Durham on my phone.

The Telegraph's account of the game makes it sound almost exciting at times: efforts that were unleashed, poked wide, skewed into the side netting; a penalty shout; a near own goal; and, of course, the disallowed goal. Even the reported boos are made to sound dynamic - ringing out and growing louder. They didn't: the crowd put no more effort into the occasion than the players had and shuffled out in more or less morose silence. My overriding feeling was that two hours of my life had simply been wasted.

I had expected the Shouty one to be incandescent on Saturday and, as usually happens after a poor performance, to leave the post-match interview to his less volatile colleague. But he didn't and that, in itself, is worrying. His demeanour in the four minute talk with John Tondeur can only be described as downbeat. As the footage seems only to be available on the Mariner's Player subscription service, I will provide some edited highlights. Shouty, or should we now call him Droopy, variously described the Town performance as "woeful", "embarrassing" and "poor" with the players having no fight, spirit, energy, drive or commitment. The blame is laid entirely on the players and his only suggestion for improvement seems to be that they need to "man up". What about devising a game plan that doesn't involve hoofing the ball down the wing all the time and makes use of the footballing skills of players like Thanoj, Disley and Thomas?

Shouty also said that Town "were back where we were this time last season". Then we had Liam Hearn to ride to the rescue. With Hearn out for who knows how long, it seems the management are looking to bring in "someone who's going to be a bit nasty and raise everybody". Have they met Bradley Wood?

If you can't spare the time or money it would take to travel to Wrexham next Saturday, you can keep the time wasted down to a minimum by watching the game live in McMenemy's. I won't be there, I've set that time aside to do a particularly interesting jigsaw.