Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 16 August 2012

16 August 2012

For all their failures over the past ten years, you have to warm to GTFC when the club shows it can laugh at itself. Hey, everyone else is laughing at it, so why be different?

Your original/regular Diary enjoyed it back in the summer, when the then superb new official website put its tongue firmly in its cheek and set up a 'grass cam'. We all sigh our way through the long, Townless summer, and the SNOS magnificently made fun of us all by displaying live pictures of the turf growing on Blundell Park. Not that the irony registered on some messageboards - which is a shame, because you have to register before you can post.

It's with similar admiration that I look on yesterday afternoon's 'Talking Poo' story. In this the Mariners' accounts manager Steve Wraith is appealing for tarpaulin donations to help protect the seating at Blundell Park from avian excreta. You wouldn't see that on Manchester City's website, would you? And this reminds us, in a little way, why we love GTFC. We can't take the piss out of them now, because they've already done it to themselves.

Oh, wait. Over on our Facebook page yesterday we invited other suggestions for help. Over to you, readers!

Ben Gresswell: Well the obvious thought is that there is plenty of shit on the pitch as well. On a serious note, why don't the club invest in a falconer to scare the pigeons away. It works at other sporting arenas. Or, ask the opposition to shoot the birds during the game. While they're taking aim, our lads can sneak round the back and score. Poo problem and promotion in one.

Matt McNally: Can't you just put pigeon wire or spikes on the stanchions? Although if you went with Ben's idea of shooting them, you could use the resulting meat as a pie filling too. Poo problem, promotion, and a new reputation for gourmet food in one.

Emma McNally: Well I'm kind of liking a mix of the two suggestions. Pre-match entertainment watching the Falconer followed by the gourmet grub at half time.

Mark Dillerstone: Get a better website because the one they've got is shit or poo if you like. Can't even get to read the article on my phone. Considering they can't get the normal site right I suppose a decent mobile site is out of the question.

Well, we nearly made it through. And at any rate, in all this discussion of faecal matter, we never once needed mention Tuesday night's performance against Stockport. Miracles can happen. Maybe the season isn't over after all.