The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

MILK IN LAST

22 June 2018

Wicklow Diary has been binge booking and awoke today with a morning-after inbox of email confirmations. Wait, £110 for Newport Travelodge? It had better be one of those VIP Travelodges. They're a thing, right? We're still weeks away from a game but thanks to the fixture list, exiles everywhere have already collected more rash bookings than a five-a-side consisting entirely of Georges Santoses.

Planes, trains and booking.com try to get you on a similar revenue model to Mariners Player/iFollow. Get the punters to sign up and then sit back and watch the cash flow in when they forget the booking or don't bother with it. But why would you forget about iFollow? Not only will be it enhanced by not having Sladeball on it this season but the SNOS has announced that there will be other enhancements too. At least that's what we think they mean from this garbled message. They'll probably be arsed to update it in about three days so here is that classic opening paragraph saved for posterity or as long we keep up to date with our server fees:

Following the successful launch of iFollow and our overseas streaming last season, in what is a first for English football, some of our Sky Bet EFL matches will be streamed throughout the UK and Ireland during the Following iFollow’s successful introduction in 2017/18 for supporters based overseas, enhancements are being introduced to the live streaming platform ahead of the start of the new campaign at no extra cost to viewers.

It will take you the rest of the afternoon to unwrap your brain from that so we'll keep the diary short. No-one's reading anyway, are they, apart from you thirty-four souls  who, like me, are so obsessed by GTFC that we watched the game last night and thought 'mmm Argentina are struggling, I bet Jolley could get them going though'. You are still mildly irked about losing the FA Trophy final, too, aintcha?. And don't get us started on the Lincolnshire Senior Cup. Why don't we field our best XI? I mean, I know it's just a pre-season thing now but it's the ONE BLOODY TOURNAMENT WE HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN EVERY YEAR. FFS, SORT IT JOLLEYS. 

Phew, sorry about that. Just lost it there for a moment. Where were we? The official site? Yes, well it had been ten minutes since their last cock-up so a story briefly appeared indicating that Danny Collins was 'returning'. Then it was deleted.

Well that wasn't a cock-up I hear you say, they were just ahead of themselves because Radio Humberside has just confirmed it to be FACT. Danny C has signed for another year. Excellent stuff, that man. The club is making hasty arrangements for the return too as the repercussions of Michael Jolley's 'play for Town live in the Town' policy start to be felt. The pool table making way for Danny's bed perhaps?

So that's it, I'm off. It's sunny where I am so I'm off indoors to watch the World Cup. If you want signings rumours you don't have to use the complex formula we used for Slade for years without anyone noticing (random African nation + obscure European league + lower division = Djibouti under-21 international playing in the Belgian third division), just pick a Burnley academy graduate. They are all signing for us. See ya.