Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 26 February 2004
26 February 2004
If you're in a rush, there's nothing of consequence today, except the news that young Pettinger's broken finger is definitely mended now. Which is his way of throwing his gloves into the ring, I suppose. So you busy types go off and keep the wheels of industry turning, or go to bingo or something. But if you're a slacker, settle down for a few minutes with your Guest Diary. I'm sure nothing's spoiling.
The Town win on Tuesday night obviously had a bigger effect on me than I had realised. I went to the doctor to get my head examined yesterday: something I do periodically, at his insistence. Any road, for some reason he decided to take my blood pressure, which he then declared to be 170 over 130. Apparently that's a tad on the high side. I tried to explain about the Mariners' plight(s) but he was more interested in my smoking and alcohol consumption. "I don't smoke tobacco!" was my exultant response. But then he dragged me down into the murky world of units. By the time I had finished explaining my weekly drinking pattern things looked grim. Apparently just one daily measure of my favourite Woods' 100 navy rum is equivalent to the entire weekly recommended alcohol intake of a grown woman. I never drink and drive, but now I'm banned from drinking whilst watching six to eight hours' telly a day. So no more watching under the influence for a bit, and the prospect of a 24-hour BP monitor strapped to my arm to look forward to. I'd better start reading for a living instead.
It's past time to poke through this week's Diary mailbag. The inbox reveals that Michael 'Genius' Shelton wrote in days ago chortling about the Daws/Laws official site fiasco: "Have you seen on the official site the article about Nicky
Daws signing for another month, cleverly entitled 'Laws Signs For Another Month'?? Is this an innocent typo, or something entirely more sinister in the form of a spill-the-beans moment revealing the new Town manager? If this is the case lets just hope it's another Nicky and not a Brian." They fixed the Freudian slip eventually, by the way.
Mat Hare, he of the 'betting with chimps' column, is driving us to distraction with emails pleading for publicity for his work. Don't be paranoid, mate; if it's any good the world is bound to realise what they've been missing sooner or later. In a postscript to his last email Mat suggests a cunning plan to avoid us denying receipt of his pleadings: "PS This is the second time I have sent this e-mail. You really should get dairy@codalmighty.com set up so that even when I fcuk up the address you still get the mail."
The 'Paul Groves to Scunny' daftness has subsided of late. I think he should be playing for Grimsby Town, myself, but that's another story. Tony Butcher's never-forgive-'em, never-forget-'em acerbicism resulted in this note: "Oh c'mon, behave yourself. We all know why Groves to be managed by Laws is most unlikely to happen. 'One of my players cheated me out of three points.' Inaccurate then and now." Laws was at it again after their defeat the other other night. He obviously believes 'naming and shaming' is the best way to manage and motivate his squad.
On the same theme, Stuart Rowson wrote in after the Diary highlighted the discrepancy between the Grimsby and Scunny Telegraph's headlines regarding Groves' potential transfer to the Iron. "Re Groves and Scunny. Not to mention the fact that the Scunny Tel were just about to send their back page to the press when Rozzer chirped in with 'well, actually, he's said he's not' but newspapers being newspapers, it stayed the same. After all, they can play it down tomorrow can't they, and fill a few more column inches. Tsk tsk." An honest reporter? It makes your day doesn't it. Keep your emails coming, and we promise to reply a bit quicker next time. But this week's been busy with loanees, trialists, a mid-week game, and daft fundraising campaigns, so it's the first chance we've had to draw breath.
Oh, before I go I forgot to mention yesterday the daft outburst from Rodger about the congested fixture list (Town have seven games in three weeks). "Whoever organised this..." he spluttered. The trouble is, Graham, the club needs the home gate monies to pay the 'leccy, so it was their idea. I've got to go and save the planet tomorrow by managing the scrubland in Ancaster valley (where that funny T-shirt picture was taken; you know, the one with the sheep). If you like bonfires, come down and join me. So somebody else will be guesting for the guest. See yer at the Barnsley game if you can make it.