Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 11 February 2004

11 February 2004

Paul Groves is unlikely to add to his total of, er, bloody loads of appearances for the Mariners after asking the PFA to negotiate a release from the remaining 18 months of his playing contract, reports BBC Humber. It was announced after Groves's removal from his management job on Monday that he would remain on the playing staff at Blundell Park, under his erstwhile assistant boss Graham Rodger, but with PG having decided, as did many fans, that this was an idea downloaded from the Ludicrous Notions section of the website risible-initiatives.com, it looks like the end of the end. The Grimsby Telegraph takes this cue to mischievously speculate that the outgoing Town manager could follow that well-trodden path from Cleethorpes to the elephants' graveyard of Glanford Park and turn out for our little friends at Scunny. And who knows? Perhaps he might. That's 'outgoing' as in he isn't Town manager any more, not as in his personality. Which was part of the problem, really.

The only man to have played for Grimsby more times than Groves, John McDermott, has been "handed a boost by surgeons", who have told him that his hernia will not need an operation after all, the words 'after all' sufficing to imply that an operation had earlier been deemed necessary and rendering this entire clause redundant. Oh well. Town's long-serving right-back, who is thought unlikely to succeed Groves as the club's management requirements pendulum swings back to 'experience' for this appointment, will still have to take it easy for a bit but "is determined to be back in the Mariners' side soon", says the club's official site. Yay.

Keith Alexander's prospects continue to be talked up by the Telegraph. "I haven't spoken to anyone at Grimsby but I've been in football long enough to know that things can change quickly," says the Lincoln boss, not exactly playing down the possibility of a fire/frying pan job change. "Alan Buckley is out of a job," continues Big Keef, though, as if suddenly remembering that the financial situation at BP scarcely betters his straitened circumstances at Sincil Bank. "He'll probably get it. He'll work for nothing, and he's really nice and everything. Never forgets your birthday. Not like me. I'm a right rotten sod. Ooh, is that the time? I have to go and, er, stand over there."

"It's all well and good everyone calling for Alexander to get the manager's job," writes Mark Stilton, "but do you think Gretna will be willing to let him go with their current form? What? Oh, Keith, right, sorry..." And your emails continue to pour in, if you can imagine a quantity of non-verbal communication encoded as a sequence of electronic pulses pouring; if not, then it's just a crap metaphor. "Surely if Groves plays on Saturday with Rodger in the dugout then NOTHING HAS CHANGED," thunders Paul Thundercliffe. "When he was the manager but played didn't Grezzer manage anyway? Very badly? Fucking dickheads. The lot of 'em. Including those advocating such managerial brilliance as Nicky Law. And including any deluded fool that actually wants the job. As the annoying bloke in the Findus shouts - WEK UP!" Blimey, is he still there? Keith Collins, finally, points up an error in the Gy Telegraph's account of Groves' valedictory drubbing at Boundary Park. "Town re-jigged to a 3-4-3 after the break," he quotes. "Does that mean we had no goalie as at the time we only had ten 'boys'. 0 out of ten for counting!" Well, it would explain a lot, Keith.