Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 26 October 2004

26 October 2004

Oh, so he was another trialist after all! As if signing one defender unwanted by Scarborough were not enough, Stephen Capper played for Mr Russell Slade at the Stadium of Chips last season, making 20-odd appearances, but was not retained in the summer - which is good enough for the Mariners, and the 21-year-old former Republic of Ireland youth international, or summats, appeared in yesterday's reserve game against Lincoln at Blundell Park. So, you're thinking, what's Stephen Capper ever done that Glen Downey hasn't? And the answer is: failed trials with York, Swindon and Scunthorpe. But as the Diary is fond of pointing out to my reactionary News of the World-reading ancestor, Hang 'Em And Flog 'Em Granny Diary, there's no harm in giving someone a second chance. Or a fourth one.

Apart from letting three goals in, of course. It's not all bad though: Capper's introduction to Town reserves may have coincided with the side's defence suddenly looking about as sound as Mark Thatcher's, but fortunately for the stiffs' league campaign Nick Heggarty ran in a hat-trick, with strikes from Clint Marcelle and Paul Ashton completing a 5-3 win over the Imps' seconds - their first league defeat of the season, apparently. Wah wah woo.

Sir John McDermott is back on the injury list, after the hamstring strain that nearly kept him out of Saturday's appalling defeat at Chester recurred at some point between the fitness test and the preparation of today's Grimsby Telegraph (and that'll be 'recurred' as in 'he shouldn't have played'). As if that's not bad enough, and it is, a swollen knee threatens to rule Dean Gordon out of this weekend's game against Swansea, and Rob Jones got blood in that reserve match yesterday. I think I might go to Ikea this Saturday or something.

Lifting the lamentable fortunes of the Mariners' first team may be beyond Graham Hockless right now, as the self-regarding young winger struggles to make an impact on loan at Leigh RMI in the Conference, but that doesn't mean he's no use to GTFC whatsoever. Not a bit of it: the club's bean counters are this week tapping into some fans' random adulation of the player by auctioning a pair of his boots. Word reaches the Diary that Town's accounts team planned another fund-raising sale by selling off Hockless' ego online, until they were advised by the web department that most potential buyers would be unlikely to have access to a 28-inch, 3200x2400-resolution monitor.

"After signing golfer Jon Daly," writes Lee Cobby in an email to the Diary, "I notice Town reserves today featured cricketer Alan Lamb. I wonder if there is a Town XI of similarly sports mixtured players? Would you like me to come up with one?" Nah, you're all right, ta.

I'm sure I heard on the radio this morning that Grimsby was officially the least romantic town in England. Did anyone else catch that? I think that's what it said anyway; I can't think what else would have caused Mrs Diary such loud mirth at 7am.