Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 27 February 2006
27 February 2006
When the notoriously hard-up Mariners sold Michael Reddy to Luton on last month's transfer deadline day it was tantamount to flogging the family silver, but in its efforts to shore up the bank balance with a never-ending car boot sale the club now really is reaching into the trophy cabinet with a grubby hand. The result is a QXL auction for Town's finalist trophy from the 2003-04 Lincolnshire Senior Cup, and when the Diary first visited the page the photograph wouldn't load, and I was amazed that two bids had already taken the price to £51 when for all the bidders knew they could end up with something Peter Furneaux's grandson made out of papier-mâché at nursery last week. The image now displays a fairly handsome item of glassware, rather than silverware, but the Diary's wallet is staying shut until next month, when Furneaux himself will be auctioned on QXL and the winning bidder will take home the former Mariners chairman to use and abuse as a personal slave.
And when Andy Parkinson last switched clubs his new contract bound him to Grimsby Town FC not, as Chester chairman Stephen Vaughan once believed, until the summer of 2005 but until the summer of 2006. That means the end of the current season, Stephen, and the Mariners' pint-sized scamperer is keen to put his name to an extended deal at Blundell Park - at least if the dubious-sounding Football.co.uk is to be believed. The site quotes Parky: "Obviously I'd like to stay but the club haven't said anything to me as yet. I know they've spoken to a few players, but there's plenty of time yet and hopefully something can be sorted." I dunno where they've dug that up from, but I thought you should know.
I am a professional footballer. I was born in Doncaster in June 1984. I signed my first professional contract with Grimsby Town in September 2002, scoring my first goal against Preston in November (and rather good it was, too), but ended up playing up front on my own in a 4-5-1 formation, at the age of 18, in a team bound for relegation from the second flight, and taking loads of stick from supporters. I scored in Grimsby's 5-1 win over Bury in August 2004 but was then loaned to Halifax, where I recorded four more goals in ten appearances. On returning to Grimsby I missed a sitter against Cambridge and was then transferred to Halifax permanently. I have been unable to hold down a regular first-team place at the Shay and have since been loaned out to York and Tamworth. What D am I? I am Darren Mansaram, and I am now seeking to kickstart my career by signing for Sligo Rovers of the League of Ireland. The Diary says he hopes I do well.
When you write for Cod Almighty and you receive an email from Andy Holt, you can safely assume that you are either in trouble over some kind of glaring factual inaccuracy or that you are lucky enough to be getting a lift with him from London to Town's next home match. In the Diary's latest instance, it seems to be the former, as Andy has rekindled the embers of last week's burning debate over Chester City's nickname by citing their local paper. "According to this," he writes, "the Seals are known as the Blues. Or is it just like calling the Mariners the Black & Whites?" The Diary was consciously excluding such lame-ass tags as "Blues" and "City" from the discussion, Andy - but after Saturday's game I think we'll just call them the Dirty Deviant Bastards from now on.
Just one more email and then I can have my soup. Dave the Engineer got in touch way back on Thursday - sorry, Dave; wasn't ignoring you - to alert us that he "heard on Lincs Fm this morning that Glen 'Man in a Suit' Downey was sent off for a professional foul in the reserves' draw with Lincoln. Surely there's a case to answer?" Well, the Diary is still going with the Lincolnshire Echo's version of events, which was that it was Ben Higgins who walked. In fact I could scarcely do otherwise as founder (and sole) member of the Glen Downey Fan Club.